I want to know what Joseph Smith knew

I read a book I borrowed from Ruby Hood and it said a few things about how Joseph Smith felt constrained in a nut-sized space because he couldn’t share with the people all the principles that he knew, since they could not stand it.

I had heard things like this before, and I think that they were what has motivated me to seek for deep treasures of the gospel, and to know the mysteries of God. I’ve often thought to myself, “If Joseph Smith knew so much more than he told people, what is there that I still need to learn?” I felt that if Joseph Smith could be taught from on high such marvelous things, then I could do my best to search and think and ponder and be taught by the Holy Ghost.

I was musing upon how Joseph Smith had so many visions and angelic visitations to teach him things, while I have had none, but have only learned through the Holy Ghost. I felt as though I could never attain to such knowledge as his without some kind of dramatic visitation. And he has the priesthood, while I have not. How could I ever aspire to the same knowledge?

Yet one thing I was reminded of—that Joseph Smith was very meditative and thoughtful, and very much disposed to pondering things. I feel I have become that way somewhat myself. It came to me, almost as I grasped at a straw of faith, that Heavenly Father could and would reveal the same things to me as He had to Joseph Smith to the degree I was ready for it and it didn’t matter how it was revealed, it only mattered that it was revealed. (And He is willing to reveal the same things to anyone else as well!) The method of revelation isn’t as important as the revelation itself, just as it doesn’t matter whether you get information by phone or by letter or by TV, just so you get the information at all. So now I am comforted, because I see that it doesn’t matter whether I learn something by angel or by the whispering of the Holy Ghost or dreams or visions, as long as I learn it. Heavenly Father will choose the method that is best for getting the message across.

I recall being told that the Lord could and would reveal marvelous things if only I was ready. When I was much younger, I was inclined to think, “I’m ready for it NOW! Why doesn’t Heavenly Father reveal things to me?” And of course that was a very proud attitude, so Heavenly Father would not reveal anything, and then I would think, See? Heavenly Father hasn’t showed me anything, so I guess He doesn’t keep His promise. See how silly I was? I was too proud and I wasn’t searching in questioning and pondering and studying and wondering about anything in particular. If I had been, then Heavenly Father would be quick to answer and reveal.