Paul’s Emotions in 2 Corinthians 2

1 But I determined this with myself, that I would not come again to you in heaviness.

2 For if I make you sorry, who is he then that maketh me glad, but the same which is made sorry by me?

3 And I wrote this same unto you, lest, when I came, I should have sorrow from them of whom I ought to rejoice; having confidence in you all, that my joy is the joy of you all.

4 For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote unto you with many tears; not that ye should be grieved, but that ye might know the love which I have more abundantly unto you.

5 But if any have caused grief, he hath not grieved me, but in part: that I may not overcharge you all. (2 Cor. 2:1-5)

These verses gave me problems understanding what was going on, so I want to discuss it a bit.

The impression I got as I was looking at it as a whole was there was lots of emotion going on, but that it was very complex.  (And of course translation doesn’t make it any easier.)

Breaking it down verse-by-verse:

V1 – Paul doesn’t want to visit the Corinthians while he’s depressed and sad. He doesn’t want to inflict that emotion on them.

V2 – He points out that the same person who he made sorry can also make him glad (by repenting)  He’s pointing out there can be mutual emotional effects between people, and they can go in good directions as well as bad.

V3 – Paul wrote to the Corinthians instead of coming personally so that he wouldn’t be negatively affected or made sad by the spiritual difficulties among the Corinthians. He wanted to rejoice with them all because of them all.

V4 – Paul felt very strong emotions of affliction and anguish as he was writing (probably a previous letter), but he didn’t want them to know that in order to make them sad, but to let them know how much he loved them. (He’s being open about his emotions, but he’s also trying to make sure that he’s not being emotionally manipulative. Some people express their emotions to guilt people into doing what they want, and Paul knew he didn’t want to do that.)

V5 – Paul expresses that the grief he’d felt had only partially been caused by the particular Corinthian church member who had done wrong. (Paul takes responsibility for his emotions here.)

Really, when you think about it, this is quite extraordinary stuff. Here you have an apostle talking about his emotions and about five different emotional interplays going on. It’s VERY complex.  

We can see that he is aware of his emotions. We see that he has VERY STRONG emotions—affliction, anguish, tears. He’s also very open about them.  But at the same time, he’s also aware of the effect his emotions can have on others, and so he works hard to make sure that his expression of his emotions doesn’t create spiritual problems for the people he’s ministering to.  He doesn’t want to emotionally manipulate them. 

I’m going to sound a little female-centric sexist here, but how often do we see a man do something like this?  Men usually avoid being emotional.  That’s why this is pretty neat to see what Paul does here.

I think we can draw a number of principles about emotional health here.

1)    Recognize when you’re having emotions

2)    Name your emotions

3)    Take responsibility for your emotions—people may do things that provoke emotion in you, but you get to choose what to do with your emotions. You choose whether to say something or not, whether to do something or not. You get to choose your words and the way you say them.  You get to choose your actions and the way you do them.

4)    Express your emotions, but in a way that doesn’t harm others or yourself.

Emotions are powerful, and I think Paul demonstrates that. He also demonstrates that they have to be carefully managed to maintain good relationships.

Lehi sees the attitude of heaven

Nephi describes what his father Lehi saw in his vision of heaven:

And being thus overcome with the Spirit, he was carried away in a vision, even that he saw the heavens open, and he thought he saw God sitting upon his throne, surrounded with numberless concourses of angels in the attitude of singing and praising their God. (1 Nephi 1:8)

That phrase “in the attitude of singing and praising their God” has always interested me. It has an older sound to it, sort of like classic literature, as though it says, “in the pose of,” like a frozen tableau. But in modern parlance, we could also read this as saying the concourses of angels had a mental attitude of singing and praising God. I like that better.

What is our attitude? What is our outlook on life? Somehow, I think having an attitude of singing and praising our God will make life more beautiful, no matter what we face.

Let’s work on cultivating that attitude today.

What we can learn from Nephi’s striving

Wherefore, I, Nephi, did strive to keep the commandments of the Lord, and I did exhort my brethren to faithfulness and diligence. (1 Nephi 17:15)

This verse caught my eye recently. It comes a few verses after Nephi gets the command to build a ship. The word that caught my attention was “strive.”

“Strive” means much much more than “try”; it means “fight or contend.”

So Nephi is saying that he fought to keep the commandments. Interestingly, this verse also comes before Nephi’s brothers realize he’s going to start building a ship, so he hasn’t even begun to preach to them about their murmuring yet. They haven’t begun to murmur; they don’t know a ship-building operation is about to begin.

So the question that came to me next was, “Who was Nephi striving against to keep the commandments in this verse?”

I realized he was fighting himself and his own inclinations. At some level Nephi was reluctant to build the ship. Even though he got busy collecting ore and made a bellows, he still had a part of him that hung back and didn’t want to do it. So he had to fight to be obedient first. And because he fought and won that battle, he was prepared to work to convince his brothers.

I find this realization inspiring and comforting. Throughout Nephi’s story you get the idea that he had little to no internal conflict with himself about doing what the Lord asked him to do. (We see it with killing Laban, but elsewhere hardly at all.)

So it helps me to see that Nephi also had to fight internal battles with himself to be obedient, and it helps to see that in this case he even had to fight them after he’d already begun to be obedient.  It shows that along with having to overcome the temptation of disobedience, we also have to overcome the temptation to slack off once we’ve begun a big hard task to keep the Lord’s commandments.   (I can think of a number of times I’ve been stopped in my tracks a ways in from starting something because the temptation to slack off got to me.) 

I think that realizing that tendency can help us overcome it when we’re faced with it. Instead of saying to ourselves, Ugh, I don’t want to do this; this is such a big job, we can say instead, Ah yes, this is the temptation to quit after having gotten a good start.

Have you noticed this problem affecting you? What do you do to overcome it?

The message of Malachi 3 & 4 for us

It is interesting that Jesus gave the Nephites a recitation of Malachi 3-4 and not the first parts of Malachi as well. It makes me wonder. Did He give the other parts too and Mormon only included the parts he felt were most applicable to us, or did Jesus just give Malachi 3-4?

Regardless of this question, though, it is interesting to study the parts given and see how they apply to us.

The message seems to be about the importance of preparing for the second coming by repenting and purifying one’s self. Two particular issues are raised that need dealing with, which people aren’t aware, and which seem to underline the need for prophets and revelation. 

Problem #1 is the people don’t understand that withholding their tithing’s and offerings constitutes robbing God and brings a curse. The promise is reinterated that blessings are poured out on those who tithe.

Problem #2 is the people think serving God won’t get them anywhere. They think there is no profit in it because the wicked seem to be far more successful.  The problem with this is that it is an implicit rebuke of God Himself, asserting that His ways are less successful than the world’s. However, we are told that the righteous do not have this attitude, but they speak often to one another (to encourage each other to endure) and they fear the Lord (more than the world) and they think upon His name (instead of obsessing about worldly things). 

In the end, those who believe the Lord’s ways are best and who act in line with that belief will be vindicated because the difference will be obvious between the Lord’s ways and the world’s ways.  We are told the proud and wicked whom many thought were so happy and safe from difficulty will be burned up, whereas those who followed the Lord will be saved, healed, nourished, and at peace.

We get reminders about paying tithing from time to time, so the principle of tithing has higher awareness in the church. But how are our attitudes about the source of success and safety in life?

The brother of Jared makes his own good weather

I was reading about the long stormy time that the brother of Jared and his people spent crossing the sea and all the difficult conditions they endured for so long. I found myself wondering if I could endure 344 days of stormy sea crossing.

5 And it came to pass that the Lord God caused that there should be a furious wind blow upon the face of the waters, towards the promised land; and thus they were tossed upon the waves of the sea before the wind.

6 And it came to pass that they were many times buried in the depths of the sea, because of the mountain waves which broke upon them, and also the great and terrible tempests which were caused by the fierceness of the wind.

7 And it came to pass that when they were buried in the deep there was no water that could hurt them, their vessels being tight like unto a dish, and also they were tight like unto the ark of Noah; therefore when they were encompassed about by many waters they did cry unto the Lord, and he did bring them forth again upon the top of the waters.

8 And it came to pass that the wind did never cease to blow towards the promised land while they were upon the waters; and thus they were driven forth before the wind.

9 And they did sing praises unto the Lord; yea, the brother of Jared did sing praises unto the Lord, and he did thank and praise the Lord all the day long; and when the night came, they did not cease to praise the Lord.

10 And thus they were driven forth; and no monster of the sea could break them, neither whale that could mar them; and they did have light continually, whether it was above the water or under the water.

11 And thus they were driven forth, three hundred and forty and four days upon the water. (Ether 6:5-11)

When I read about the brother of Jared praising and thanking the Lord continually and how they sang praises to the Lord, I wondered how they kept that up for so long. Wouldn’t they get tired of it? And with all that stormy weather, it was a really rough ride, so how could they keep up the gratitude and praise for so long?

Eventually I realized that the thanks and the praise and singing was actually their best weapon for keeping their spirits up during all the storm.

When you think about it, there was much they could have worried about.

--Why is this storm lasting so long?

--What if our barge never come to the top of the water again?

--What if those whales and sharks run into the barges and break them open?

--What if we never find land?

--What if the lights suddenly go out?

--What if the food and water runs out?

--What if we get swamped by a wave when the hatch is open?

There are lots of things they could worry about, and yet they were at the mercy of the wind and waves and the direction the wind would take them. They didn’t have control over their direction at all. All they could do was simply cope by means of the preparations they had previously made. (How do you and I deal with a loss of control?)

The brother of Jared knew he could do nothing about their surroundings except pray. So rather than give in to the natural doubts and fears and worries that would arise, he chose to take responsibility for his own attitude. He couldn’t control the weather, but he could control his attitude and response to it. By his continual prayers and thanks and praises to God and singing he made his own weather for himself and his people.

We also get a hint through Moroni’s abridgement of how the brother of Jared chose to look at the dangers they faced.  With each difficulty recorded there is also attached some sort of mitigating factor that helped.

Sure, there were mountain waves that broke upon them (and they had to see those waves to know they were mountain-sized), but no water hurt them.

Sure, they were buried in the sea (and they had to open the hatch and have water come in to realize that), but their vessels were tight like a dish and like the ark of Noah, so they didn’t leak.

Sure, the wind blew the entire time and raised great and terrible tempests, but it always blew in the same direction, which had to be toward the promised land, otherwise the Lord would not have had them go to sea where they did.

Sure, there were sea monsters and whales gallivanting all over and battering into their barges on occasion, but no damage was done.

Sure, the barges were dark, but the Lord had prepared shining stones for them to have light all the time.  (And we can also realize that their stones didn’t need fuel and didn’t need to be tended and fed like a fire.  They weren’t dangerous to touch, and they didn’t make smoke in their  little enclosed barges.)

Hmm. I’m thinking I should take that as a example for writing in my journal. If I record a difficulty I’m having, I should also look for a blessing the Lord is giving me to help me with it.

Today let’s make our own weather in response to the difficulties we have to go through but can’t control. Let’s combat worries and fears with prayer, praise, thanks, and song and see if that makes a difference.