Stirred up emotions

The Book of Mormon has many instances of using the phrase “stirred up” to describe the process of raising up emotions in order to push individuals or crowds to action. It’s useful to look at these instances to see what we can learn.

Probably most notable of instances of stirring and stirring up is when people are stirred up to anger. 

Some larger principles about stirring to anger

Jesus declares that stirring people up to anger is no part of His doctrine, but declares such things should be done away. (3 Nephi 11:30)

Nephi says those who are part of the devil’s kingdom must be stirred up to repentance, or the devil will stir them up to anger and they’ll perish. (2 Ne. 28:19)

Mormon declares the wicked stir people up to bloodshed. (Mormon 4:5)

Nephi prophesies of how Satan will stir people up to anger against that which is good. (2 Ne. 28:20) We can find many instance of this in the Book of Mormon.

Stirred against good

Laman stirred up Lemuel with suspicions that Nephi lied to them about spiritual experiences in order to usurp power over them. (1 Ne. 16:38)

The priests of Noah stir up the king to anger against Abinadi with charges that Abinadi reviled the king, and King Noah orders Abinadi be slain. (Mosiah 17:12)

King Noah accuses Alma of stirring the people to rebellion as a pretext of sending his army against him and his people. (Mosiah 18:33)

The charity of the Anti-Nephi-Lehites for the poor Zoramites who were cast out stirs up the anger of the elite Zoramites. They mix with the Lamanites and stir them up to anger against the Anti-Nephi-Lehites as well. (Alma 35:10)

The Nephite chief judges stir up the people to anger against the prophet Nephi when he calls them to repentance. (Helaman 8:7)

Satan stirs up the Nephites to do iniquity continually, spreading rumors and contentions everywhere to harden people’s hearts against goodness and prophecy. (Helaman 16:22)

Instances of Kings/authority figures stirring up the people to anger

King Laman stirs his people up to contend with Zeniff’s people (Mosiah 9:13)

King Laman’s son (now king) begins to stir up his people against Zeniff’s people (Mosiah 10:6)

King Noah accuses Alma of stirring the people to rebellion as a pretext of sending his army against him and his people. (Mosiah 18:33)

Amlici stirs up his followers to anger against those who opposed his bid for kingship. (Alma 2:8)

Amalickiah stirs up the Lamanites to anger against the Nephites. (Alma 47:1, Alma 48:3, Alma 51:9) [Captain Moroni knew this would happen far ahead of time. (Alma 46:30)]

Tubaloth (king of the Lamanites) stirs up his people to anger against the Nephites, and they go to battle the Nephites. (Helaman 1:17)

The Nephite chief judges stir up the people to anger against the prophet Nephi when he calls them to repentance. (Helaman 8:7)

Zarahemnah intends to stir up the Lamanites to anger against the Nephites to usurp power over them and use them to bring the Nephites to bondage. (Alma 43:8)

After Zarahemna loses his scalp, he stirs up the rest of his soldiers to fight more powerfully. (Alma 44:16)

People stirring up people to anger

The Lamanites are stirred up to anger against the Limhi’s Nephites, and they start coming into the land to harass them. (Mosiah 21:2) (Cause is unstated, but it can’t be an authority figure, otherwise battle would have resulted.)

The Amalekites and Amulonites stir up the Lamanites against the Anti-Nephi-Lehites. (previous to their attack on Ammonihah) (Alma 24:1)

The Amalekites stir up the Lamanites against the Anti-Nephi-Lehites because they can’t get revenge on the Nephites. (Alma 27:2)

The peoples of Coriantumr and Shiz are stirred up to anger against each other and go to battle. (Ether 15:6)

Dissenters from the Nephites stir the Lamanites to anger against the Nephites (Alma 63:14, Helaman 11:24)

Nephite dissenters try to stir up the Lamanites to anger against the Nephites and don’t succeed. (Helaman 4:3) The next year, they do succeed. (Helaman 4:4)

People stirring up leaders

The priests of Noah stir up the king to anger against Abinadi with charges that Abinadi reviled the king, and King Noah orders Abinadi be slain. (Mosiah 17:12)

Seeing others sorrow & pain stirs to anger

The cries of the widows and orphans stir up the people of Limhi against their Lamanite taskmasters and they go to battle and lose. (Mosiah 21:11)

Amulonites martyring new Lamanite believers stirs up other Lamanites to anger against the Amulonites. (Alma 25:8)

Motives of gain stirring to iniquity

The lawyers of Ammonihah stir up the people to riotings, disturbances, and wickedness in order to have more work and to get gain. (Alma 11:20)

Satan stirs up the Nephites to unite with the bands of robbers and enter secret combinations. (Helaman 6:21)

Satan stirs up the people to do iniquity, puffs them with pride, and tempts them to seek for power, authority, riches, and worldly things. (3 Nephi 6:15)

Can there be good emotional stirrings?  There are some instances in the Book of Mormon of this too.

War meant to stir people to remember God

The Lord tells Nephi that the Lamanites will scourge the Nephites, as a means to stir the Nephites up to remember God. (1 Nephi 2:24)

Elsewhere, the Lord tells Nephi that if the Nephites don’t get stirred up to repentance by the Lamanite scourge, they will be destroyed. (2 Ne. 5:25)

Battle losses stir up the Lamanites to remember the words of Aaron and his brethren and they begin to disbelieve their Lamanite traditions. (Alma 25:6

The depredations of the Gadianton robbers stir up the Nephites to remember the Lord. (Helaman 11:34)

Afflictions and famine can stir to remembrance of God

King Benjamin tells Mosiah of how their fathers were smitten with afflictions to stir them up to remember their duty. (Mosiah 1:17)

The prophet Nephi prays that a famine will be used to stir up the Nephites to repentance. (Helaman 11:4)

Preaching meant to stir us to remember God

Enos tells that the prophets had to stir up the Nephites continually with preaching of war, contention, destruction, reminding them of death, judgment, and the duration of eternity, to fear the Lord. (Enos 1:23)

Jarom tells of the prophets stirring the people up to repentance by pricking their hearts with the word. (Jarom 1:12)

King Benjamin appointed priests to teach the people and stir them up to remember the oath they had made to serve God (Mosiah 6:3)

Alma goes to preach among the people to stir them up to remember their duty. (Alma 4:19)

Captain Moroni says Pahoran should have stirred himself more diligently for the welfare and freedom of the people. (Alma 60:10) He threatens Pahoran that if he doesn’t get reinforcement, he will stir up any remaining spark of freedom into insurrection and fight against those who usurp power and authority. (Alma 60:27)

All of this is particular important to know these days because of the prevalence of incivility and anger out in the world today and attempts to manipulate with stirring strong negative emotions. Not only do we need to work to keep from being affected by it, but we will face the temptation to use it ourselves.

Paul’s Emotions in 2 Corinthians 2

1 But I determined this with myself, that I would not come again to you in heaviness.

2 For if I make you sorry, who is he then that maketh me glad, but the same which is made sorry by me?

3 And I wrote this same unto you, lest, when I came, I should have sorrow from them of whom I ought to rejoice; having confidence in you all, that my joy is the joy of you all.

4 For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote unto you with many tears; not that ye should be grieved, but that ye might know the love which I have more abundantly unto you.

5 But if any have caused grief, he hath not grieved me, but in part: that I may not overcharge you all. (2 Cor. 2:1-5)

These verses gave me problems understanding what was going on, so I want to discuss it a bit.

The impression I got as I was looking at it as a whole was there was lots of emotion going on, but that it was very complex.  (And of course translation doesn’t make it any easier.)

Breaking it down verse-by-verse:

V1 – Paul doesn’t want to visit the Corinthians while he’s depressed and sad. He doesn’t want to inflict that emotion on them.

V2 – He points out that the same person who he made sorry can also make him glad (by repenting)  He’s pointing out there can be mutual emotional effects between people, and they can go in good directions as well as bad.

V3 – Paul wrote to the Corinthians instead of coming personally so that he wouldn’t be negatively affected or made sad by the spiritual difficulties among the Corinthians. He wanted to rejoice with them all because of them all.

V4 – Paul felt very strong emotions of affliction and anguish as he was writing (probably a previous letter), but he didn’t want them to know that in order to make them sad, but to let them know how much he loved them. (He’s being open about his emotions, but he’s also trying to make sure that he’s not being emotionally manipulative. Some people express their emotions to guilt people into doing what they want, and Paul knew he didn’t want to do that.)

V5 – Paul expresses that the grief he’d felt had only partially been caused by the particular Corinthian church member who had done wrong. (Paul takes responsibility for his emotions here.)

Really, when you think about it, this is quite extraordinary stuff. Here you have an apostle talking about his emotions and about five different emotional interplays going on. It’s VERY complex.  

We can see that he is aware of his emotions. We see that he has VERY STRONG emotions—affliction, anguish, tears. He’s also very open about them.  But at the same time, he’s also aware of the effect his emotions can have on others, and so he works hard to make sure that his expression of his emotions doesn’t create spiritual problems for the people he’s ministering to.  He doesn’t want to emotionally manipulate them. 

I’m going to sound a little female-centric sexist here, but how often do we see a man do something like this?  Men usually avoid being emotional.  That’s why this is pretty neat to see what Paul does here.

I think we can draw a number of principles about emotional health here.

1)    Recognize when you’re having emotions

2)    Name your emotions

3)    Take responsibility for your emotions—people may do things that provoke emotion in you, but you get to choose what to do with your emotions. You choose whether to say something or not, whether to do something or not. You get to choose your words and the way you say them.  You get to choose your actions and the way you do them.

4)    Express your emotions, but in a way that doesn’t harm others or yourself.

Emotions are powerful, and I think Paul demonstrates that. He also demonstrates that they have to be carefully managed to maintain good relationships.

Warnings in the way the Nephites’ wickedness progressed

In these verses, Mormon chronicles the Nephites’ descent from great order to great lawlessness from the 27^th year to the 30^th year after the sign is given of Christ’s birth. It starts with pride, persecution, and inequality. Then we get this:

15 Now the cause of this iniquity of the people was this—Satan had great power, unto the stirring up of the people to do all manner of iniquity, and to the puffing them up with pride, tempting them to seek for power, and authority, and riches, and the vain things of the world.

16 And thus Satan did lead away the hearts of the people to do all manner of iniquity; therefore they had enjoyed peace but a few years.

17 And thus, in the commencement of the thirtieth year—the people having been delivered up for the space of a long time to be carried about by the temptations of the devil whithersoever he desired to carry them, and to do whatsoever iniquity he desired they should—and thus in the commencement of this, the thirtieth year, they were in a state of awful wickedness. (3 Nephi 6:15-17)

I notice there are three statements about what Satan does and how the people respond.

Satan stirred people up. It’s a very interesting image there of a pot of liquid that is stirred. It is as though people would be calm and content if left alone, but then Satan stirs them up to do iniquity, trying to convince them they are not happy as they are, that the need power, authority, riches, and vain things of the world.

Satan did lead away the hearts of the people. This idea of leading away hearts is another interesting image. It tells us that Satan managed to engage people’s affections and desires in the iniquity they were doing. That’s very troubling because emotions are very powerful. When one want to do iniquity and don’t want to do good, then doing good starts to feel very unpleasant, like one fights with oneself to do it, and it isn’t very enjoyable.

The people were delivered up…to be carried about by the temptations of the devil. This image of delivering people (like a package) and being carried about, almost like a baby, is pretty sickening. It makes it sound like the people have no choice in the matter, like something made them sin. But the reality is that they simply gave up the fight. They gave up fighting temptation and decided to do whatever they wanted, even though it broke the commandments. The reality was, it was actually what Satan wanted, so they essentially yielded their agency.

Now, sad as it is to read about this, I think it gives us some important warnings for our own lives. It tells us to be alert to notice when we are being stirred up or when our hearts are being led away toward evil or when it seems like we’re just being carried about without our choice. Half the battle is realizing we are in the predicament, discerning the devil’s machinations in our lives.

I’ve recently felt like I’m being stirred up with agitation, frustration, desperation, and anxiety. My head knows that I’m in a place where I’m being asked to grow in a number of different directions at once, that I have to exercise patience, that I have to buckle down and get to work. I’m in a place of stretching, but all the same, it is very difficult because of the strong emotions that are pulling me back and forth, this way and that. It makes it hard to concentrate.

The only way to make it through is to yield my heart to God, to resolve to do His will, no matter what my lying feelings shriek at me. I must trust that each day my righteous efforts will bring me closer to Him.

Mastering our Stories to Increase our Faith

I’ve been reading the book Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking when the Stakes are High, which is a good book.   I ran across something neat in it about relationships that has some broader applicability to faith, which I wanted to share.

Page 109 had a diagram showing a sequence that happens in our interpersonal relationships. 

1) We see and hear somebody do something, 

2) we tell ourselves a story about what that means, 

3) the meaning we create gives rise to feelings and emotions, which are often very strong, and 

4) we act on those feelings.

In terms of how relate to each other, this sequence can happen really fast.  Someone cuts us off on the freeway, we instantly tell ourselves the story, “He did that because he’s a jerk!”  Then we feel angry, and we may make some angry remark or yell, or even try to retaliate. (Yikes!)

The book says we can improve our relationships by noticing the stories we are telling ourselves and then thinking of alternate stories that might fit the facts to explain how a normal good person would act that way.  Thus, the person who cut us off on the freeway might be in a big hurry for something very important. His wife might be having a baby. Maybe he found out someone he loves is in trouble. Maybe there’s an event he has to go to and others made him late.  Better alternate stories help us interact with respect and kindness instead of attacking or withdrawing.

Now, to apply this to faith…  We tell ourselves stories about what Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are like and what they can do to help us.  Those stories have a big effect and sometimes we don’t realize how big the effect is.

There are people who don’t believe in God who tell themselves stories about how God should act and they either criticize what is happening, or they come to disbelieve He exists altogether. There are all kinds of ways they do this, which I don’t intend to get into now. 

There are all kinds of narratives in the scriptures that tell us how God has worked in the past that help us get at least a small idea of the many different things He does to intervene, how He can help, and so on, so that we can tell ourselves better stories about His character and ways.

Sometimes those stories we tell ourselves may get out of balance.  If we tell ourselves stories about God’s judgment, but none about His mercy, we will be scared of Him and needlessly feel we are unworthy.  If we tell stories about God’s mercy, but none about His judgment, we will not have the appropriate concern about our accountability and we will neglect to repent as we should. 

If we tell ourselves stories about God’s help, but not about how He gives us space to act and make choices, we will not learn to make decisions and try our hardest, and we may also wonder why God doesn’t intervene more.  On the other hand, if we tell ourselves stories about how He gives us space, but not about His willingness to help, we will neglect to turn and ask His help when He could give it.  I could go on about different stories we tell ourselves about God and how they affect the extent we exercise our faith. 

Another factor is that we also tell internal stories about ourselves and what we can and can’t do and why.  Those stories create emotion and ultimately affect how we act because they affect how we see ourselves and our possibilities.  Knowing we are a child of God and that we have the seeds of godhood in us opens up soooo many avenues for growth and development.  But sometimes we get pulled down by discouragement and doubt and fear and frustration and begin to tell ourselves stories like:   I can’t…or I’ll never make it… or I’m just too broken… or I can’t get over this sin… or something like that.

There have been some things in my life I feel stuck about. It has occurred to me from reading this section of the book that I need to think about what kind of stories I’m telling myself and see if I can find an alternate story that fits better and will allow me to take appropriate action and get unstuck.

I will give a small example of one story I have told myself in the past that has caused me problems.  On occasion I have been asked to give a talk or teach a lesson in church. When that happens I throw myself into preparation, telling myself that I have to give the best talk or the best lesson EVER.  It’s like I have something to prove. There’s also a measure of pride in there too. But then this starts to cause problems if I think the material or the lesson activities are not up to my idea of “the best EVER.”  I start thinking I will fail, and this causes me major angst.  And I realize that my pride is getting in the way too.  The toxic story I have told myself is, “I have to be the best or I will fail, and failure means I’m unimportant.”   You can see that’s totally wrong, right?

Eventually I realized that perfectionism was a big part of the problem. So I had to tell myself a different story that would drive me to prepare carefully, but help me remember that the Spirit is the real teacher.  I had a little breakthrough when I discovered and proved that when I give my best efforts, ordinary results actually produces the same satisfaction for me as extraordinary results. In terms of lessons or talks, I know the results on myself, but I don't know the results on other listeners, so I have to leave that in the Lord's hands.

So I settled on telling myself the following: “I will do my best to prepare, and I will give an ordinary talk [or lesson], and Heavenly Father will make it awesome.”  I learned to give myself permission to have ordinary and average results, and that removes the stress because instead I rely on the Lord to make something better out of what I’ve done.   It gives me the satisfaction that comes from the chance to be an instrument in the Lord’s hands, it helps me find humility, and it gives credit to the Lord for His great work.

If you’re feeling stuck, and it doesn’t seem like God is helping, think about the stories you are telling yourself about your obstacles and also about God.  Are there better stories you can tell that will generate more faith in God and faith to act and grow?

They fled in much confusion

In Alma 52, the Nephites use the decoy method to lead the Lamanites away from the city of Mulek. The Lamanites chase Teancum’s army all the way to Bountiful, at which they are met by Lehi’s fresh army, who takes over the battle from there. Here’s a verse that has always seemed interesting to me:

And now behold, when the chief captains of the Lamanites had beheld Lehi with his army coming against them, they fled in much confusion, lest perhaps they should not obtain the city Mulek before Lehi should overtake them; for they were wearied because of their march, and the men of Lehi were fresh. (Alma 52:28)

I don’t think the phrase “in much confusion” denotes a state of mind; there is nothing confusing about the situation; it is obvious to the Lamanites that they have just been played for fools. What “in much confusion” describes is the manner in which the army traveled—men breaking ranks and lines in order to move as fast as they can to get to safety and leaving the slower ones to fend for themselves.

The Lamanites chased Teancum’s Nephite army up to Bountiful while keeping their lines and ranks according to their leaders’ command, but as soon as they saw they were in danger, they became as undisciplined as any panicked crowd and their leaders could do nothing about it.

Later in the battle there ARE confused states of mind when the Lamanites find the rear of their army is surrendering and the front of their army is still fighting.

And Lehi pressed upon their rear with such fury with his strong men, that the Lamanites in the rear delivered up their weapons of war; and the remainder of them, being much confused, knew not whither to go or to strike. (Alma 52:36)

Captain Moroni takes advantage of their confusion and gives them a clear option to end the fight.

37 Now Moroni seeing their confusion, he said unto them: If ye will bring forth your weapons of war and deliver them up, behold we will forbear shedding your blood.
38 And it came to pass that when the Lamanites had heard these words, their chief captains, all those who were not slain, came forth and threw down their weapons of war at the feet of Moroni, and also commanded their men that they should do the same. (Alma 52:37-38)

Now, please don’t misunderstand what I am about to say. Captain Moroni is a powerful example of good leadership. However, this should not prevent us from recognizing the tactics Satan uses in our lives, which are very similar to what Captain Moroni just did. Captain Moroni saw the confusion of the Lamanites when they didn’t know what to do and he gave them an unambiguous solution—stop fighting and surrender. Satan goes one step further. He tries to induce confusion in us about our identities and roles and the purpose of our lives and when he sees we are confused, he tempts us to surrender, to forget about that exaltation stuff, and forget about ever becoming better, to forget about fighting evil anymore.

I guess what I am trying to say is that confusion makes us vulnerable. We see two different types of confusion in this story—organizational confusion and mental confusion. It looks to me like organizational confusion led to mental confusion.

In the church, if we suddenly stop listening to our leaders and start doing our own thing in spite of what they tell us, then it will result in a mass of confusion in the church organization. In that case, organizational confusion is a consequence of sin.

Mental confusion comes when we are faced with two or more compelling choices, which conflict with each other:

• going along with the crowd versus being unpopular for following our conscience
• giving in versus fighting temptation
• doing what seems to be expedient in the moment versus doing the thing we have always been taught
• pursuing short-term pleasures versus pursuing long-term goals

The opposite of confusion is certainty and order. Testimony gives us certainty that overcomes mental confusion, but even if we don’t have total certainty, we can use our faith to compensate. Then church organization brings order which overcomes social confusion. All of this is meant to help us keep fighting for what’s right instead of giving in to sin.

Outside Article on learning emotional maturity from the Book of Mormon

Please consider Larry W. Tippets’ article “Toward Emotional Maturity: Insights from the Book of Mormon” from the The Religious Educator, volume 10, issue 2, 2010.

The scriptures that he examines may have been well-known to me, but his focus on how they help us develop emotional maturity provides a very helpful and insightful practical connection to our real life difficulties. I, for one, am very grateful for it.

What do you think of the article?