-->
The story of Nabal and
Abigail is an interesting one that has all kinds of interesting indications of
character.
Briefly speaking, the story
is this: David asks Nabal for food because he and his men kept Nabal’s flocks
safe. Nabal refuses rudely. David decides to kill Nabal and his
household, but Abigail (Nabal’s wife) finds out what her husband did and goes
out with a big present of food to apologize for Nabal. She pacifies David. After she tells Nabal what happened, Nabal
dies and then David marries Abigail.
What kind of person is
Nabal? His name means fool and was probably a nickname. He was very great and rich, having 3000
sheep and 1000 goats. But he was
“churlish and evil in his doings” (v3).
He was of the house of Caleb (v3), but didn’t have Caleb’s nobility of
character. By one of his servants
he was described as “such a son of Belial, that a man cannot speak to him”
(v17), meaning his servants must have frequently tried to reason with him to
prevent him from making mistakes and he wouldn’t listen. Even his wife knew he was a fool
(v25). He held feasts in his house
like feasts of a king (v36), so he had plenty of food, and he seemed to think
nothing of feasting without his wife (v36). He also got very drunk (v36).
What kind of person was
Abigail? Her name means “my father
is joy.” She is described as “of
good understanding and of a beautiful countenance” (v3). She has the confidence of the servants
because she is informed of problems (v14-17). She takes action quickly and is generous (v18), she is a
peacemaker and tries to smooth things over for her husband and for the sake of
her household. Also, the things
she says to David about how the Lord will make him a sure house and he will be
appointed ruler over Israel indicate she is far-seeing and could be considered
prophetic. Her concern that David
not ruin his excellent record so far or have any regrets shows she is a true
friend who sees the spiritual importance of staying pure. Even though she doesn’t tell her
husband what she’s going to do, she tells him afterward, so she takes
responsibility and keeps him in the loop (v36), though that must have been hard
when it went so against his wishes.
One question that might
naturally come at this point is “How did these two ever get married in the
first place?” How did such a good
woman end up with such a jerk for a husband? Did she make a bad choice? I don’t know if we can assume that marriages were formed the
same way back then as they are today.
They may have been paired by parents and she didn’t know enough about
Nabal to refuse. Also, it is
likely that she had to develop that good understanding out of self-defense in
her marriage to cope with him.
It is interesting that after
Nabal insults David’s messengers that one of Nabal’s servants goes directly to
Abigail and tells her what happened and Abigail acts immediately, preparing
this big food gift and delivers it personally without telling her husband. That is a lot of stuff going on behind Nabal’s back. And I bet you this is not a one-time event. I bet that Nabal has been rubbing
people wrong for a very very long time, and his servants and his wife have had
to learn how to cope and pacify and mollify everyone whose feathers he’s ruffled.
In fact, I bet that Abigail
had to take a lot of the management of Nabal’s concerns herself, managing from
the shadows, so to speak. We get a
glimpse of this when in her apology to David she says, “I thine handmaid saw
not the young men of my lord, whom thou didst send” (v25). She implies that if they had come to
her, the response would have been different, and she was the one who took care
of business, not her husband.
Also note that Nabal has no clue that what he’s said to David’s
messengers is going to have any consequences or that his refusal is bad. But Nabal’s servant who informs
Abigail, and Abigail herself are completely
aware of what is about to happen if they don’t do something fast, and they
are completely right. There is a
major mismatch here about awareness of consequences. That suggests that Abigail has been smoothing things over
for so long that Nabal hasn’t learned there are consequences for being a jerk
and he’s gotten worse over time.
And this time he’s angered the wrong guy and if Abigail hadn’t stepped
in, he and the other men of the household would have been dead.
Was Nabal like this only
with servants and outsiders? Odds
are that Nabal treated Abigail badly too.
She probably suffered under his critical eye and he was dismissive of
her abilities just as he was dismissive of David’s messengers and refused to
believe David and his men had helped him.
Abigail probably had to pacify Nabal and submit to unreasonable demands
a lot. In fact, her powerful
appeal to David was probably informed by a huge amount of practice with
apologizing and humbling herself to Nabal.
This should bring us to ask
ourselves whether we are like Nabal or like Abigail. Are we the kind of person who has to be pacified and have
messes smoothed over for, or are we the kind of person who does the peacemaking
and apologizing? Are we the kind
of person that no one can reason with, or are we the kind of person that can be
warned and will take immediate action?
We can see Abigail had a
hard life married to Nabal, even if they were very wealthy. She could have given up. She could have become Nabal’s
enemy. She could have left him. If she had been any less of a righteous
woman, she could have chosen to do nothing
and then David would have rid her of her obnoxious husband. But instead she acted against her own
personal interest and pled for Nabal to be spared. That is Godlike love right there. In fact, she becomes a type of Christ: “Upon me, my lord,
upon me let this iniquity be” (1 Sam. 25:24). She is willing to be punished for her husband’s sins to save
him, jerk that he was.
So, looking at this again,
if Abigail is a type of Christ, Nabal typifies Adam and the rest of fallen
mankind—deaf to good advice, thinking there is nothing wrong with us when we
have offended many times over, shielded so many times from the immediate
consequences that we don’t realize the doom that approaches, unwilling to
acknowledge we’ve been helped by anyone if we can’t directly see it, returning
railing and insult for justified requests for help or pay, feasting and
enjoying ourselves while unaware of our danger. If we, as Nabal, were informed of our true situation, our
hearts would probably die within us too.
The truth is, we need a
redeemer as badly as Nabal needed Abigail. And Abigail’s determination and haste to plead for Nabal
teaches us about Christ’s love and willingness to hurry and plead for us, even
though we have made His suffering great.
Now, let’s look at this
story even more granularly to see what more we can learn.
4 ¶And
David heard in the wilderness that Nabal did shear his sheep.
5 And
David sent out ten young men, and David said unto the young men, Get you up to
Carmel, and go to Nabal, and greet him in my name:
6 And
thus shall ye say to him that liveth in prosperity, Peace be both to thee, and
peace be to thine house, and peace be unto all that thou hast.
7 And now
I have heard that thou hast shearers: now thy shepherds which were with us, we
hurt them not, neither was there ought missing unto them, all the while they
were in Carmel.
8 Ask thy
young men, and they will shew thee. Wherefore let the young men find favour in
thine eyes: for we come in a good day: give, I pray thee, whatsoever cometh to
thine hand unto thy servants, and to thy son David.
9 And
when David’s young men came, they spake to Nabal according to all those words
in the name of David, and ceased. (1 Sam. 25:4-9)
David hears that
Nabal is shearing his sheep and he sends ten messengers to ask Nabal if he can
give anything from his feasting to help David, even though it would have been a
temptation to just take what they
needed. Living off the land as
David and his men were, any place they could build goodwill became a possible
source of support, so he may have hoped that if he helped Nabal, Nabal would
help him back. He invited Nabal to
confirm the claims of David’s messengers by asking his own servants. He didn’t
even make a demand for a certain amount; he left it up to Nabal, trusting
Nabal’s generosity. (Sadly, in this case, it was trust misplaced.)
Here’s Nabal’s
answer:
10 ¶And
Nabal answered David’s servants, and said, Who is David? and who is the son of
Jesse? there be many servants now a days that break away every man from his
master.
11 Shall
I then take my bread, and my water, and my flesh that I have killed for my
shearers, and give it unto men, whom I know not whence they be? (1
Sam.25:10-11)
Nabal undoubtedly had
many servants leave him because of his jerkiness, but he didn’t realize he was the problem. He just knew he had troubles keeping
workers, so he looked upon David and Saul’s situation from that perspective and
judged David to be an ungrateful servant breaking away from Saul. It is also possible that he was
suspicious about the messengers themselves, wondering if they were just using
David’s name to try to get in on the feast he prepared.
Concerning their
claims that they didn’t hurt Nabal’s sheep or bother his shepherds, Nabal
doubts they made any difference at all, and rather than inquire of his servants
whether it is true whether David’s men were helpful or not, he makes a snap
judgment that they don’t deserve it since he doesn’t know them. (Clearly Nabal hadn’t been out with the
shepherds.) I think it is pretty
bad how Nabal could have learned the
truth if he had just asked them and he chose not to.
14 ¶But
one of the young men told Abigail, Nabal’s wife, saying, Behold, David sent
messengers out of the wilderness to salute our master; and he railed on them.
15 But
the men were very good unto us, and we were not hurt, neither missed we any
thing, as long as we were conversant with them, when we were in the fields:
16 They
were a wall unto us both by night and day, all the while we were with them
keeping the sheep.
17 Now
therefore know and consider what thou wilt do; for evil is determined against
our master, and against all his household: for he is such a son of Belial, that
a man cannot speak to him. (1 Sam. 25:14-17)
One of Nabal’s
servants gives Abigail the benefit of the information that Nabal should have
heard but didn’t. And Abigail
learns that not only did David’s men refrain from sheep-stealing, but they had
been an extra protection for the flocks, keeping thieves away and keeping sheep
from wandering. In doing so, they
really were like an army of shepherds.
I notice the servant
doesn’t tell Abigail what to do to help the situation of Nabal’s rudeness; he
only tells her to think about what she’s going to do and that “evil is
determined against our master and against all his household” (v17).
So Abigail jumps into
action and she gets all this food ready:
200 loaves of bread
2 bottles of wine
5 dressed sheep
5 measures of parched
corn
200 raison clusters
200 fig cakes
I don’t think Abigail
had to make all this right then. I
think it was already on hand in huge amounts for the kingly feast Nabal was
about to have anyway (v36). There
was so much food already on hand that evidently what she took was never missed.
Notice that when
Nabal talked to David’s servants about the food he’d have to give up he talks
about bread, water, and flesh, and then look at the kinds of food Abigail
prepared. Nabal was downplaying
the quality of food they had and trying to make it seem like he had only just
enough for his own servants and nothing to spare. He didn’t want to give anything.
Naturally when David
finds out Nabal was so rude, he decides it is time to rid the world of a
worthless, inhospitable person and household.
As David gets ready
to go kill Nabal and his household, he says so with an oath, but his oath is
kind of funny:
So and more also do God unto the enemies of David, if I leave of all
that pertain to him by the morning light any
that pisseth against the wall. (v22)
The usual oath
is “God do so to me and more also if
I don’t ________” and it essentially asks for God to punish you if you don’t do
what you have decided to do. But
David’s oath is different. “So and
more also do God unto the enemies of
David if ______” He’s asking God
to punish his enemies if he doesn’t do what he says he will do. It’s kind of funny because no way would
God punish someone else completely unrelated if David doesn’t do what he promised; that would be unjust. But the main effect of saying that is
David’s pretty sure he’s going to do it, but he’s leaving the door open in case
something prevents him for a good reason.
And it’s a good thing he did because Abigail has some really good
reasons why he shouldn’t kill Nabal and all his men.
David is an
excellent contrast to Saul, who makes strong oaths all over the place, and then
finds himself breaking them because extenuating circumstances arise, to the
point that soon his oaths mean nothing.
So lets look at
what Abigail says to David after she throws herself at his feet.
23 And
when Abigail saw David, she hasted, and lighted off the ass, and fell before
David on her face, and bowed herself to the ground,
24 And
fell at his feet, and said, Upon me, my lord,
upon me let this iniquity be: and let thine
handmaid, I pray thee, speak in thine audience, and hear the words of thine handmaid.
25 Let
not my lord, I pray thee, regard this man of
Belial, even Nabal: for as his name is, so is he; Nabal is his name, and folly
is with him: but I thine handmaid saw not
the young men of my lord, whom thou didst send.
26 Now
therefore, my lord, as the Lord liveth, and as
thy soul liveth, seeing the Lord hath withholden thee from coming to shed
blood, and from avenging thyself with thine own hand, now let thine enemies,
and they that seek evil to my lord, be as Nabal.
27 And
now this blessing which thine handmaid hath
brought unto my lord, let it even be given unto
the young men that follow my lord.
28 I pray
thee, forgive the trespass of thine handmaid:
for the Lord will certainly make my lord a sure
house; because my lord fighteth the battles of
the Lord, and evil hath not been found in thee all thy days.
29 Yet a
man is risen to pursue thee, and to seek thy soul: but the soul of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of life with the
Lord thy God; and the souls of thine enemies, them shall he sling out, as out
of the middle of a sling.
30 And it
shall come to pass, when the Lord shall have done to my
lord according to all the good that he hath spoken concerning thee, and
shall have appointed thee ruler over Israel;
31 That
this shall be no grief unto thee, nor offence of heart unto my lord, either that thou hast shed blood causeless,
or that my lord hath avenged himself: but when
the Lord shall have dealt well with my lord,
then remember thine handmaid. (1 Sam.
25:23-31)
First, notice that it
repeats three times that Abigail abased herself in some way. Repeating three times is the
superlative form, like of like “best” is for us. It shows us that Abigail humbled herself to the greatest
extent that she could.
When she pleads for
Nabal to David, another thing to notice is how she refers to herself and how
she refers to David. She calls
herself “thine handmaid” six times and calls David “my lord” 14 times. She’s humbling herself and exalting
him. That she’s so quick to do
this and does it so well speaks of the practice she’s had at it and that she’s
realized it doesn’t hurt her in any way, even though she is the wife of a
“great” man.
There’s also
something else happening subtly in the background of everything she says. She starts out requesting that Nabal’s
iniquity be upon her, essentially a request to be punished in his place. Then, midway, her request becomes
“forgive the trespass of thine handmaid,” which means she asks not to be
punished. And then at the end, her
request is “when the Lord shall have dealt well with my lord, then remember
thine handmaid,” which implies she’s doing him a favor that he can repay
later. I think she probably hopes
that he’ll see that her persuasion to keep him from shedding blood in this case
is an important spiritual service more important than the food she brings. This suggests that maybe we should try
to see warnings as great services as well.
There’s one thing
Abigail says that seems kind of strange:
Now therefore, my
lord, as the Lord liveth, and as thy soul liveth, seeing the Lord hath
withholden thee from coming to shed blood, and from avenging thyself with thine
own hand, now let thine enemies, and they that seek evil to my lord, be as
Nabal. (v26)
It seems to express
the wish that all David’s enemies could be like Nabal is at this stage with the
assumption that David will not kill him.
But Nabal is rich and a complete jerk. Adding to this, to underline her words, she uses the
strongest oath she can—“as the Lord liveth, and as thy soul liveth.” I can only conclude that Abigail
understands Nabal’s true state and knows he’s in deep trouble, that it is only
a matter of time before he is taken out of the world. He is not to be envied even if he is rich. He is not
even to be feared. (And we see
that she is right. Nabal was in
his very last days, even if no one knew it.)
The upshot of
Abigail’s appeal is that David listens and does not destroy Nabal and his
household.
36 ¶And
Abigail came to Nabal; and, behold, he held a feast in his house, like the
feast of a king; and Nabal’s heart was merry within him, for he was very
drunken: wherefore she told him nothing, less or more, until the morning light.
37 But it
came to pass in the morning, when the wine was gone out of Nabal, and his wife
had told him these things, that his heart died within him, and he became as a
stone.
38 And it
came to pass about ten days after, that the Lord smote Nabal, that he died. (1
Sam. 25:36-38)
Abigail goes back
home and finds Nabal drunk and feasting.
Wisely she waits ‘til later to tell him what she did so his head will be
clear. If he’s a fool while sober,
he’d be even worse while drunk, right?
When she tells him in
the morning, it says, “his heart died within him, and he became as a stone”
(v37). I think this means his
courage and confidence in himself died.
If he had a heart attack and his heart literally died right then he
would have died that day, but he lived 10 days longer.
Consider all the many
reasons a selfish conceited person like him would have to lose courage.
1. He made a huge
mistake without realizing it when trying to protect his interests, and the
consequences would have destroyed him and his household unawares.
2. Rather than him being the one who protected his
whole household, his wife had.
3. His wife couldn’t
even tell him what she was going to do beforehand because he would’ve stopped
her and that would’ve sealed the fate of him and his household.
4. He hadn’t listened
to his servants who tried to tell him.
If Nabal was in any
way thoughtful, he would have thought about all the decisions he’d made
throughout his life that brought him to that point. He would have to realize he had been wrong so much of the
time. And that
realization—“everything you’ve done to protect your interests has been
offensive and wrong all along”—is incredibly painful. The man wouldn’t know what to do with himself.
Ten days later, Nabal
is dead from some sort of disease.
39 ¶And
when David heard that Nabal was dead, he said, Blessed be the Lord, that hath
pleaded the cause of my reproach from the hand of Nabal, and hath kept his
servant from evil: for the Lord hath returned the wickedness of Nabal upon his
own head. And David sent and communed with Abigail, to take her to him to wife.
40 And when the
servants of David were come to Abigail to Carmel, they spake unto her, saying,
David sent us unto thee, to take thee to him to wife. (1 Sam. 25:39-40)
When David heard
Nabal was dead, he saw it as vindication from the Lord, and he admired Abigail
enough to want her for his wife.
He had already seen her faithfulness to her husband Nabal, so he knew
she would definitely be faithful to David. She had seen how she advocated for Nabal, so he knows she
will advocate for him too. He
needs good allies who will stick with him, and she is a good choice. Also, her forward-thinking and
anticipation of him eventually gaining the throne will encourage him through
the hard times. Annnnd, her
generosity will make it much easier for him and his men to live on the run from
Saul.
So he sends servants
to her to tell her he wants to take her to wife. What is her response?
41 And
she arose, and bowed herself on her face to the earth, and said, Behold, let
thine handmaid be a servant to wash the feet of the servants of my lord.
42 And
Abigail hasted, and arose, and rode upon an ass, with five damsels of hers that
went after her; and she went after the messengers of David, and became his
wife. (1 Sam.25:41-42)
She asks to serve
David’s servants by washing their feet.
It is as if she doesn’t ask for or anticipate anything more than a life
of service. For a woman who has
been head of a great household with many servants, this is incredible
humility.
It is also a very
wise move. She doesn’t know what
kind of command structure David has in his army of followers or in his
household. She realizes that if
she joins the household as a high-and-mighty woman she will stir up hostility
and resentment and she knows from seeing Nabal at work how detrimental that can
be. So she’s willing to “start
from the bottom” and be helpful to everyone as she figures out her place and
demonstrates her worth. She wants
them to know she is not a threat and she won’t make trouble.
Abigail’s approach is
a smart thing to do for anyone who joins an organization as a leader. Learning the ropes and serving everyone
makes more friends than lording it over everyone.
Is there anything
else you learn from Abigail?
