“Undoing
Self-Destruction Routines: Consistently Living our True Identity (Mosiah
5:7)” Jennifer Brinkerhoff Platt
Live intentionally, Make your bed, spend time reading a
conference talk each day to make friends with the prophets.
Prophets are consistent in their message.
Rituals can make routines rich, but sometimes we ritualize
bad behavior. (“I’m just grumpy these hours of the day; don’t talk to me.”
If we say, “Take me as I am, and let me be” we trivialized
the atonement. People can change.
The process of becoming who we are meant to be is sticky and
uncomfortable.
Trust people who are in the process and accept and honor the
process.
Change requires much of us, and change changes us. How do we respond to changes in our life?
How do we respond to unwanted change? Do we turn toward the Lord or turn
away?
Reflect: What
do I really need to change?
What do I really believe? Is it aligned with true doctrine?
Are you willing to be still and be honest with yourself
about yourself.
What are my weaknesses and am I humble enough to seek to
make them strong? (Have to come
unto Christ for weak things to become strong)
Have I trained others to accommodate my poor behaviors?
“I want to be a giver” (Woudneh Mulugela)
King Benjamin warns
Mosiah 2:32-41
Listing to obey the evil spirit leads to drinking damnation
Mosiah 3:24-27
every man judged according to works; do we want an awful view or a
glorious view?
Mosiah 5:10 not
taking the name of Christ puts us on the left hand of God. So choose Christ.
WE have to remind ourselves of important truths daily when
we are trying to change.
We’re in the process of learning lessons that we can only
learn in a body. Having a body
means we can progress. If we don’t
like our bodies, we need to remind ourselves of the truth.
Have we ritualized the lie? Did I plan for it?
Have I participated in it every day? Have a remembered it?
Satan will try to make us believe that our sins are not
forgiven because we remember them.
Remembering will help us avoid making the same mistakes again. Our memories will be softened over time
as part of the healing and sanctification process. (Uchtdorf, April 2007)
True doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behaviors,
so confront painful lies with truth.
Try to avoid repeating the negative communication patterns
of our parents.
How to un-ritualize the behavior
-diligently and consistently study truth that can counteract
the lies
--create order (re-evaluate what a typical day is like,
change routines or move them to improve)
--ask for help and support (talk to VT and HT, seek out
mentors and act for coaching)
--be honest and patient (change happens incrementally)
“From ADHD to PhD:
Providing Hope and Encouragement to Those Who Struggle with Similar Challenges”
Todd R Pennington
Spiritual partnerships – We can partner with Heavenly Father
as we work with others, even if we’re intimidated by opportunities. He can help us. Our covenants is how we access the
power of God. God binds us to
sustain, sanctify, and exalt us in return for our commitment to serve Him.
(Christofferson (April 2009))
Loved physical activity and moving around when young.
His mom was a special ed teacher. He was never made to feel dumb; he was told he learned
differently.
His guidance counselor told him BYU wasn’t a possibility
because of his reading and comprehension levels, which really was
disappointing.
He was committed to Heavenly Father to do his best, but he
was in remedial classes with peers who weren’t so motivated.
With his mother’s approach he thought everyone had summer
school and personal tutors in something.
The role of adversity – Personal righteousness does not
prevent loss and suffering.
He had friends who were making bad choices and were mocking
his good choices.
He wanted to be included and treated nicely. He prayed for them.
Be an example
With our sacrifices, we obtain the witness of the Spirit
that our course is right, which makes our faith unbounded, having assurance
that God will eventually turn our affliction to our gain. (Christofferson,
April 2009)
The ACT test didn’t go very well for him. Not very many accommodations.
Applied to BYU
Was admitted to BYU, has saved that letter of admission.
Freshman year was great socially, but wasn’t best for an
ADHD student. He had reading
comprehension troubles. (Couldn’t remember the meaning of each sentence as he
read it.)
Found himself over his head academically. Was grateful for his mission call.
Ezra Taft Benson began emphasizing the Book of Mormon,
reminding the saints that it was the new covenant and that its study should be
a lifetime pursuit.
His companionship started studying the Book of Mormon. He noticed that he started to be able
to remember things that happened previously in the chapters that he had just
read.
The moment you begin a serious study, you will find power to
avoid deception, stay on the straight and narrow path. When you begin to hunger and thirst
after those words, you will find life in greater and greater abundance. (Ezra
Taft Benson Oct 1986) Abundance
may be different for each person.
He said to himself, “This must be what it is like to be
smart.” He didn’t know if the
blessing was only for missions or whether he could still have it in school, but
he continued to read back in college.
Current Research on good things for ADHD
Connectedness – God, family, family history, friends (Places we can go for
support and help)
Play – imaginatively involved, lights up the brain (the thing that our mind does, so
channel it, Legos, athletics, strategy, find the things that are play and find
out how to make it into a living)
Patriarchal blessings can help identify those play things.
Practice – this comes from play (willing to practice things that are play, which leads to
mastery)
Mastery – progress your improvements, increase motivation. Leads to recognition.
Recognition – comes through your mastery and leads to more connections
with those recognizing your talents.
This can become cyclical.
ADD blessings – racing mind, very creative, (can seem
restless)
Tips from the trenches
Relationships with Heavenly Father, family, friends
Technology (CAUTION)
Technology can isolate us.
ADD are vulnerable to technology addiction because of hyper-focus.
Interpersonal interaction (critical for children &
parents to have individual time together at least 20 minutes a week with no
distractions)
Nutrition – eat foods that help rather than hurt the brain. Avoid sugars, processed foods. Perhaps
use essential oils. (Intune essential oils mix. Q96?) Try green
shakes and smoothies for breakfast.
Try to be well-balanced
Structure – outside help with organization of life, work,
school, etc. This can result in
following weekly and daily routines.
Establish routines for them.
Physical activity is very important. Minimum of 60 minutes of vigorous
physical activity (walking)
Identify Closers – Identify people that understand your
challenge with ADHD and have different skills related to the project,
assignment, etc. and willingly take on the role of helping us complete the task
when we have troubles finishing.
They hold you to due dates and hold you accountable.
Resources
“Delivered from Distraction” (Hallowell & Ratey)
“Driven to Distraction” (Hallowell & Ratey)
“Married to Distraction” (Hallowell & Ratey)
“Treasures on Church
Websites” Fernando V Camillo
Music, leadership training library, gospel topics, Mormon
channel, newsroom, lds tech, bible videos, LDS store, Patriarchal blessings,
MoTab
Music
Music.lds.org – music library, music player, calling
support, member-submitted music
Music player – plays hymns, transposes up keys, can play
only a particular singing part, (Does not play on your tablet, is a flash
website), can print music once transposed, (Will work on a tablet if used on a
Flash browser like Photon.)
Can increase tempo.
If switching languages, will not have the player.
Submitting music
Can find all the different music that people have submitted
and download.
Savior of the world (play)-- can download music, orchestra
parts, etc.
Music from the Friend
can be found there. (Library menu
option)
Leadership training library – shows videos based on Handbook
2. Calling-based training,
worldwide training, leadership.
Lds.org >> Resources >> Leadership Training
More information is available if you are logged in to your
account.
Much navigation is at the bottom of the page. (Doesn’t make
sense, so send feedback about this!)
Lots of training for different callings, and some general
principles.
Gospel Topics – help for FHE, talks, and lessons, expanded
topics.
Good for preparing talks and lessons.
Topics.lds.org
or LDS.org >>
Teachings >> Topics
Gives scriptures, a brief entry, conference talks, sometimes
videos, related music,
This is a great place to point youth to when they are given
a speaking or teaching assignment so they can get up to speed very fast.
Also a good way to study by topic.
Mormon Channel – live stream, music stream, Spanish channel,
downloadable content, mobile app.
Is also intended for people who are non-mormon.
(Roku box plugs into internet through wiki or internet cable
and then into TV and you can get the Mormon channel for free on it. (also
BYUTV))
Mormonchannel.org
or Youtube.com/mormonchannel
Can stream the mormon channel on mobile device if the mobile
app is downloaded on your phone, then can listen to stuff on the way to work..
Mormon messages to share, interviews with GAs and other
Mormons who have done great things, Bible videos, I’m a Mormon videos, The
District, Gospel Solutions for Families, CES devotionals,
Has radio streams, 24/7 music (from EFY to MoTab), audio of
church magazine content so you can listen while you work
Much of what is on the Mormon Channel is available for
download on iTunes.
Mormon Newsroom – Official news for media from the church,
announcements, country-specific news.
Country-specific news will be in their language, but can use Google
Translator.
Mormonnewsroom.org
Has topics and background to share with others
Has a blog written by church employees
LDS Tech –
technology projects, wiki and white papers (how to work with church technology
sources), meetinghouse technology support, tech news.
tech.lds.org
(not accessible from lds.org)
Lots of tech support for church website aps
Bible Videos
Biblevideos.org
There is a Bible video app. Make sure you have memory. Stream is best.
Some videos are under a minute, others are 10 minutes
12 apostles had to approve all these videos.
LDS Store
store.lds.org
(has free shipping)
can get New scriptures, renew your magazines, garments and
temple clothing, cheaper copier ink for library copier.
Patriarchal Blessings – copies of blessings, direct-line
deceased ancestor blessings, mailed copy.
Lds.org
>> sign in >> patriarchal blessing
Mormon Tabernacle Choir – mormontabernaclechoir.org
Can get tickets for concerts
Videos, shop for MoTab CDs
Daily messages
--can subscribe on LDS.org and get daily email messages
LDS.org >> teachings >> daily messages
Youth
Youth.lds.org
Can comment on something that was posted.
There’s an app of this site
Can go to personal progress or duty to God
Other treasures:
--Joseph Smith Papers
--Church history
history.lds.org
--seminary
“Five Ideas to Help You
Discover and Achieve Your Life Mission” Randal A. Wright
The Lord wants you where you are. You have a special mission to perform.
Heavenly Father has a plan for us, choosing us for certain
pre-determined missions in life.
If we ask who am I, where are we from, where am I
going? We want to know “what
is MY role?”
Faithful women were given certain assignments while faithful
men were foreordained to certain priesthood tasks. WE don’t remember, but that doesn’t alter the reality that
we’re accountable for what we are expected to do. (Spencer W. Kimball Nov 1979)
The Lord puts “Helped wanted” signs around. “I need someone to ______”
Thomas Edison had this urge of what he had to do.
Founding Fathers all came at the same time right there in
American Colonies.
All kinds of different people known for different things.
Amber Douglas got involved in building a school for kids
from India who were children of lepers.
Conversion of Paul – “Lord, what wilt thou have me do?” (Act
9:6)
Tara Collins
took her daughter to India to give her some balance to counteract the
affluent high school.
Every one of us has been foreordained for some work as God’s
chosen servant “(N. Eldon Tanner)
Patriarchal blessings can be a guide, a personal
Liahona to chart your course and guide your way.
Analyze blessing:
·
Gifts and talents you possess
·
Opportunities you will have
·
Blessings you have been given
·
Counsel and teachings
·
Warnings included
·
Insight into your life mission
“The two most important days of your life are the day you
were born and the day you discover why you were born.”
Ponder carefully what the Lord would have you do with your
lives with the special skills, training, and testimonies you have.
Paint a Mental picture of what you are to do.
“The Problems of the world cannot possibly be solved by
skeptics or cynics whose horizons are limited by the obvious realities.. that
never were and ask, Why not?” (Spencer W Kimball, Oct 1974)
The Lord did not put us on earth and tell us to consume
media and shop til we drop like no one else.
Really think about what you’re doing.
If you can’t see it, how are you going to do it?
Carve away everything that isn’t important. If we don’t know what we’re going to
do, we’ll only have shavings (waste)
Write down your attainable goals and work on them
according to their importance.
Pray for divine guidance in your goal setting.
Write down 100 life goals (what the Lord wanted me to do, not necessarily bucket list)
Have a detailed plan how you will reach those goals
The Lord had his plan for how to form the earth. If man is to reach his destiny, he must
also have a plan.
“any good builder can erect a magnificent building if the
architects can conceive it and the builder can follow the plan.”
God gave to man the challenge of raw materials, not the ease
of finished things so that man may know the joys and glories of creation. God
created the quarries, but he carves the statues only by the hand of man.
Is your mission right in your own home? The children?
Maybe it’s outside it.
“Making sure We are
not the Difficult Person” Steven
Eastmond
BE sure that when you are scrutinizing yourself that you do
it with love instead of being mean.
Ask yourself, “Would I use the same language on someone else
that I am using on myself?”
Look in the mirror
“He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone.” (John
8:7)
“With what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged” (Matt
7:2-5)
When you read stories about others, look at yourself and see
if you see times when you’ve done the same thing.
Pride is the root of the “difficult person”
IT can be readily seen in others, but is rarely admitted in
ourselves. (Ezra Taft Benson, April 1989)
The standard by which we judge others is generally based on
how se see the world – how we would act if we were in that same situation.
Alma 56:28-30
Are ye stripped of pride? Envy?
Do you make a mock of your brother or heap persecutions on someone?
If these things exist, we are not prepared to meet God.
Difficult behaviors
·
Control/Narcissism – Doesn’t listen, has to be
right, has to be in charge, unforgiving
·
Anger/explosiveness – unpredictable, irritable
regularly, frightening and intimidating to others, argumentative and contentious.
·
Selfish – envious, jealous, greedy
·
Critical/demeaning – faultfinding, name-calling,
insulting, passive-aggressive, judgmental
·
Pessimist – sees the negative about everything,
complains and murmurs all the time, whines
When we are in the pattern, then when we’re with those who
do it too, it drains you and sucks the life out of you. Emotional vampire.
Work on the opposites.
Positive attributes injects energy into the interaction
How to not be a controller
Do we pay attention to how stubborn we can be?
Instead forgive others. Not forgiving is an attempt to control the offender
Heaven is filled with those who forgive and are forgiven.
To forgive is divine.
Forgiveness – Letting go of all hope of having a better past
--does not require an apology
--is usually a process, not an event (keep making the
decision daily)
--is not synonymous with trust
--does not mean that the perpetrated act was okay, or ever
will be okay
Defensiveness
When you get defensive you look guilty. The more defensive you get, the more
guilty you look.
If you’re wrong, own it. How bad can it be?
How to not appear defensive:
Ask questions.
Listen. Validate
their feelings. Ask if it is okay
to explain your side. (Can’t be
left out because otherwise you look defensive) Explain your position on the
issue.
Unteachable
Do you know everything?
Being right is not all it’s cracked up to be.
Be pliable and willing to learn.
Controlling anger and explosiveness
Can be a factor if we think we’re not mad and others think
we are.
Happens if you tend to be very animated.
Assertive people protect their rights but not at the expense
of others.
Don’t assume that others need to toughen up and quit being
babies.
Don’t assume that you are justified in being a bully.
Don’t assume you don’t need to control how you come across
to others.
Reducing Selfishness
Don’t be envious when good fortune comes to others. It will
happen sometimes.
Be grateful that God is kind.
Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of
having more of it than the next man.
It is the comparison that makes you proud; the pleasure of being above
the rest. (C. S. Lewis)
Opposite – generosity.
Giving of ourselves to others helps us change from greedy and insatiable
to unselfishness.
Time is a great commodity that we can share with others.
The more our hearts are turned to assisting others less
fortunate, the more we will avoid the cankering effects that result from greed
and selfishness. Our resources are
a stewardship not our possessions.
We will account to how we have used them to bless lives and build the
kingdom.
Paying tithing helps us become more charitable.
Not being critical or demeaning
Judging others
--get past our own roadblocks and don’t blame them for those
roadblocks
When angry, try to talk with no energy and animation, keep
the eyebrows down. This allows the
other person to hear what you say and not stumble over the way you are saying
it.
“Why beholdest thou the eyebrows on the other person and
considerest not thine own..”
Ask yourself, “What else could be true about this person or
situation?”
Maybe we are doing things that are causing the problem. Maybe they have difficulties that we
don’t even know about.
Does it have to be that our first judgment of someone is the
only explanation?
Couples may think the other person had to mean something
even though the other one doesn’t say so.
Bashing should be replaced with charity. Bashing doesn’t change behaviors.
Praise instead of faultfinding.
How far do kind words go? A VERY LONG WAY.
Even a simple “Hi! How ya doing?” can go a long way to help
someone feel better.
Don’t withhold good words.
Not being pessimistic
Pessimism is like covering your eyes.
What did murmuring do for Laman and Lemuel? Robbed them of their faith “How is it
that the Lord will deliver Laban into our hands?” It robbed them of happiness “we might have been happy” It robbed them of revelation “The Lord
maketh no such thing known unto us”
We can’t see options
“If you put 1/10th the energy you put into
complaining and apply it to solving the problem, you’d be surprised by how well
things can work out.” (Randy
Rausch, “The Last Lecture”)
The opposite of complaining is the expression of
gratitude. IT has a healing
nature. It helps bring peace that
helps us overcome the pain of adversity and failure.
Summary
Forgive
Don’t get defensive
Be teachable
Control temper
Don’t judge others
Praise
Use kind words
Some complaining and express gratitude
“Women as Gospel
Scholars” Stephanie D. Sorensen
Scholar – a learned or erudite person, especially one who
has profound knowledge of a particular subject. A student or pupil; a student who has been awarded a
scholarship.
The more we know, the more power we have to influence others
for good.
“We need more women who are gospel scholars and more men who
are Christians.” (Elder Neal A Maxwell)
Why study the gospel?
What to study?
How to study?
Why study the gospel?
--become more familiar with the truths of the scriptures
--helps us love our neighbors
--to lift others up (not to show off)
--for help in nurturing and teaching
--moves us toward salvation
--parallel spiritual development with men to stand
side-by-side in the eternities
--ensure eternal joy
--it is an unfailing guide in our lives
--challenges come day to day, so it is best to learn
day-to-day
What to study?
Start with a question or desire to learn. What are you curious about?
Start with a personal need.
Characteristics that you want to acquire
Ask God, not Google.
People sometimes turn to the internet culture of discussion
for answers that should come from God.
[Personally I disagree with the idea that the internet will not have
anything of value, partly because I do my best to put on the internet things
about the scriptures that I believe are of value.]
Primary resources – prayer and revealed, inspired,
authorized sources
Amos 3:7 Surely
the Lord God will do nothing but he will reveal it to his servants the prophets
What can we study that we know is the word of God?
1) Scriptures
+ guides, study helps, manuals
See Elder Scott’s GC talk about scriptures (oct 2011)
Study the scriptures relating to our church lessons. Not very many people do, and it will
prepare us to contribute more to the lesson.
2) Words
of living prophets and apostles.
Favorite Research tools
Lds.org
Scriptures
Gc.lds.org
Speeches.byu.edu
Scriptures.byu.edu
Mormonchannel.org archives>>past impressions
Byutv.org [search discussions] scripture round tables
si.lds.org
seminaries and institutes, (sign in with lds id stuff) lesson resources
corpus.byu.edu
How to study?
Approach your questions with faith. Assume that Heavenly Father wants to answer you.
Obey the principles you learn
John 31:5
Alma 32:27
John 7:16-17
How a busy mom can study her scriptures:
Don’t wait for quiet time
Use it to start your day right
Study for your children
Keep a scripture journal
Show your children your scripture study can change you
Women must reflect righteousness and articulateness. Women of the church must be seen as
distinct and different in happy ways.
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