Some questions I asked myself after having made this chart were the following:
Is there a pattern in the type of things that Laman & Lemuel complain about?
Do the types of things they complain about change over time?
If so, how does it change?
How are the complaints solved?
Who tends to administer the solutions to the complaints?
Who complains besides Laman & Lemuel and why?
Who doesn’t complain? Why?
Why do Laman & Lemuel change from complaint to anger? What are they angry about? Are these good reasons to be angry?
Reference & event | Who complains | Cause of Complaint | Solution |
1 Nephi 2:11-13 leaving Jerusalem | Laman & Lemuel | Father Lehi is a visionary man Father led family out of Jerusalem We left precious things behind We will perish in the wilderness | Lehi speaks with power and the Spirit Lehi confounds them Their frames shake They dare not speak against him They obey |
1 Nephi 3:5 getting the plates | Laman & Lemuel | We have to get the plates from Laban (hard thing) | Sam & Nephi to go with them |
1 Nephi 3:28 losing family inheritance to Laban | Laman & Lemuel (beat Sam & Nephi, speak hard words) | We lost all property to Laban We have not obtained the plates (returning to Jerusalem to the same standard of living as before is now not an option) | Angel comes Angel chastises L & L Angel commands them to go get plates Nephi goes to get plates, succeeds |
1 Nephi 5:2 waiting for sons to return with plates | Sariah | Husband Lehi is a visionary man I’ve been led from land of inheritance My sons have perished My family will perish | Lehi comforts her: (“I am visionary, I’ve seen things of God, I know God’s goodness, We’ve left Jerusalem so we won’t perish, We’ve obtained a land of promise, The Lord will save our sons”) Lehi’s sons return safe with the plates |
1 Nephi 7:6-7 returning from getting Ishmael’s family | Laman & Lemuel, 2 daughters of Ishmael, 2 sons of Ishmael + their families | ? (We want to return to Jerusalem) | Nephi chastises Laman & Lemuel 1 daughter of Ishmael + wife of Ishmael plead for Nephi Laman & Lemuel repent |
1 Nephi 16:1 Nephi explaining Lehi’s dream and prophecies | Laman & Lemuel | Nephi speaks hard things we can’t bear about no unclean thing inheriting kingdom of God and being cast out as filthiness | Nephi exhorts brothers to diligence |
1 Nephi 16:18-22 Nephi breaks his bow | Laman & Lemuel, sons of Ishmael, Lehi | Nephi broke his bow Our families obtain no food We’re tired We’ve suffered and affliction in the wilderness Laman & Lemuel’s bows lost their springs God (is making us do this) | Nephi makes a bow and arrow Nephi asks Lehi where to hunt for food Voice of the Lord chastens Lehi New words written on Liahona to give understanding of the Lord’s ways Families fear and tremble Nephi observes guidance comes with faith and diligence Nephi gets food |
1 Nephi 16: 35-38 Ishmael’s death | Daughters of Ishmael, Laman (to Lemuel, sons of Ishmael) | D: Father Ishmael has died in the wilderness We’ve wandered much in the wilderness We’ve suffered hunger, thirst, fatigue We’ll die in the wilderness of hunger L: Nephi is acting as ruler, getting revelations (suspicious of Nephi’s motives, stirring others to ANGER) | Voice of the Lord speaks to them (which ones? All of them?) Voice of the Lord chastens them exceedingly They repent Blessed with food |
1 Nephi 17:17-18, 19-22 Nephi starts to build ship | Laman & Lemuel | Nephi is trying to build a ship (foolish, no boat can cross the waters, don’t want to work, don’t think God commanded him) Our wives had to labor hard while pregnant We might have enjoyed inheritance during all this We might have been happy at Jerusalem Death would be better than what we went through Jerusalem was righteous Lehi judged Jerusalem unjustly ANGER at Nephi’s words | Nephi preaches to L & L (God has chastened them like rebellious children of Israel, the righteous are favored, Israel was ripe for destruction, L & L are murderers in their hearts, L & L past feeling, fear L & L will be cast off,God can command me and help me build ship) Nephi: “Touch me not!” God tells Nephi to shock L & L L & L repent |
1 Nephi 18:9,10,17 While on the ship | Laman & Lemuel, Sons of Ishmael | Nephi speaks soberly to us about our rudeness Nephi is trying to rule over us ANGER (they tie him up) Others are pleading for Nephi | Huge 4 day storm (Liahona stops working, Lehi speaks to them,family cries, parents about to die) All about to be swallowed by mountain waves |
2 Nephi 4:13 Nephi preaches after Lehi’s death | Laman & Lemuel, Sons of Ishmael | ANGER at Nephi because of admonitions of the Lord We think Nephi wants to rule over us We’ve had trial because of Nephi We don’t get to rule over the people | (Nephi prays) (Nephi takes good people and leaves) |
So, the following things can lead to complaining:
- Having one’s course of life unexpectedly changed in a direction one doesn’t like
- Being unexpectedly asked/commanded to complete a large and complicated project
- Trying to do something important and then failing or having an unexpected setback
- Loss of valuable belongings
- Breakage of important tools
- Circumstances of physical hardship—hunger, thirst, fatigue, extended suffering
- Seeing loved ones suffer
- Feeling one’s own common sense suggestions are being ignored in favor of a risky course with no end in sight
I also noticed a progression through these incidents:
- Being swift to do iniquity and slow to remember the Lord causes our hearts to harden. (1 Nephi 17:45)
- Complaining arises from a hard heart.
- Complaining about circumstances gradually leads to complaining about the people who seem to bring these circumstances.
- Complaining against people leads to anger against people (even righteous people)
- There may be a reason for complaint, but when ANGER enters it, soon any kind of reason is enough to raise anger. Anger is unreasonable.
Nephi cries to the Lord in difficulty.
Nephi doesn’t complain in difficulty; he focuses on being part of the solution and he keeps trying solutions.
Nephi only complains once (instance not on the chart), but that is about his own sins and the temptations that so easily beset him, and then he quickly remembers all the Lord has done for him and prays for strength. (see 2 Nephi 4:17-35)
Doctrines that help us not complain:
- The righteous don’t do anything except by (or according to) the word of God. (The righteous get their assignments from God.) (1 Nephi 17:3)
- If God has such great power, and has wrought so many miracles among the children of men, how is it that He can’t instruct me to__________? (1 Nephi 17:51)
- If God commanded me to do all things, I could do them. (1 Nephi 17:50)
- The Lord makes us mighty. (1 Nephi 17:32)
- The Lord goes before us, leading by day and giving light by night, doing all things for us which are expedient for us to receive. (1 Nephi 17:30)
- The Lord prepares a way for us to accomplish His commandments (1 Nephi 3:7)
- If we keep the commandments, we will be led to a better place. (1 Nephi 17:13)
Is there anything that you’ve learned that helps you not complain? Will you share with me a time when you didn’t complain when in difficulty and were blessed?
2 comments:
this is excellent! I'm going to print if off and hang it on my fridge to remind myself!
I do have a great story for you. My sister and her husband were dealing with a messy situation with a landscaper. He didn't do the job, they didn't complete it or do it correctly and he over-charged and left a mess everywhere. My sister thought about taking him to court and they would have had a good case, but then they decided that the anger wasn't worth it.
So they decided to forgive and clean the mess up themselves.
Well, as a family, they were removing the mess that he left behind and when they did, my brother-in-law found a diamond ring lying in the street underneath one of the piles that the landscaper had left behind.
Long story short...it ended up being the wedding ring that my sister had lost six years earlier!!! They count it as a miracle, a tender mercy, a blessing, and a confirmation that their righteous choice to "not murmur" and to move forward in forgiveness was the correct one.
What a neat story! Thanks for sharing it.
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