Yes. Four
operations in four weeks. No, I
wasn’t the one operated upon. It
was my husband. For a massive kidney stone. The mother of all kidney stones. A kidney stone for which he will always
be remembered by his urologist and associated nurses, one which was so big that
it was as big as his kidney. (This
was back in March and April, by the way, but I am only mentioning it now because it feels..safe.)
We didn’t know it would be four operations at the
beginning. It was just going to be
one, but they didn’t get it all in the first one. (And get this—he needed at least one more after the
four.)
But I’m starting to digress. I was going to share what I learned from all this, which was
plenty.
Lesson #1 is the importance of getting a priesthood blessing
before the operation(s) begin. My
husband got one. He was an
absolute trooper throughout this whole ordeal.
Lesson #2 is the importance of the caregiver getting a
priesthood blessing before the operation(s) begin. I got an excellent one. I was blessed to have a strong mind, which, if you happen
know how badly I react to seeing blood and wounds (fainting, etc.) , was
wondrously fulfilled. I wasn’t bothered
at all by changing my husband’s bandages and dressings, which to me was simply
miraculous.
Lesson #3 is the importance of calling the visiting teachers
and setting up a dinner to be delivered for the night husband comes home from
the hospital. Just do it. Even if
you are determined to be self-reliant, just
do it. And then have a good
meal plan in place for the week that is easy and fast to prepare.
Lesson #4 is the importance of packing a lunch and few good
books for the family waiting room in the hospital, no matter how short you
think the operation will be.
Lesson #5 is that the Lord gives extra comfort through the
Holy Ghost if you happen to have to watch general conference in the hospital on
your ipad while your husband is operated on.
Lesson #6 is that if the operation takes hours longer than
you were told it would take, then be prepared for… anything.
Lesson #7 is the importance of immediately writing down what
the doctor tells you about how the operation went. This information will be shared with all the close friends
and family who are interested about how it is all going. (If more operations are needed, writing
down becomes even more important, just to keep things straight.)
Lesson #8 is to realize that if the doctor says he’s going
to have to do another operation, be prepared for at least two or three
more. Having to do another
operation means the first one only partially worked or didn’t work at all, so
the doctor is going to have to figure it out as he goes, which means he’s going
to have to try different things, and
he may have to try several different
things, each of which may require its own operation.
Lesson #9 is the importance of having a good attitude,
expressing gratitude, and remembering as much as possible how wonderful modern
medicine is. Good attitude helps everybody deal better.
Lesson #10 is to carry a card with all medications being
taken along with their strengths and what they are for. This will be shared with various
nurses, and it can help you have discussions with doctors and prevent
unnecessary prescriptions. (One
doctor prescribed one antibiotic, and another doctor prescribed a different
one. Having a list handy would
have helped clarify which one should be taken.)
Lesson #11 is it is rather fun to read a satire such as a
Terry Pratchett novel out loud in a hospital, especially the parts in which the
character Death has dialogue or is mentioned. A patient with a sense of humor might appreciate an excuse
to laugh at Death. (My husband did, at least.)
Lesson #12 is to get a supply of bandages and dressings from
the hospital before you leave.
Hospitals have a certain nice kind of wide tape that corner drugstores
do not carry. They also have
bandages that the corner drugstore doesn’t have.
Lesson #13 is to ask nurses to train you on how to change
bandage dressings.
Lesson #14 is that instructions on care may strangely
contradict between nurses and operations, in which case you should be prepared
to ask questions and use your common sense.
Lesson #15 is to pray for what you and husband need
specifically, even medical stuff.
Lesson #16 is to not to be concerned about the
furniture when trying to find a comfortable place for husband to lie at home,
even if his bandages leak. Yes, even
if those bandages leak urine.
Lesson #17 is that stores sell nice big absorbent pads to
put down underneath leaky bandages.
Lesson #18 is to tell the Relief Society president what is
happening at the beginning because if
she finds out only after the third operation, she will feel absolutely terrible. She feels that if she doesn’t know about every major health
difficulty that ward members are going through she has somehow dropped the
ball. (She hasn’t, and she knows
she hasn’t, but she’ll still have a nagging feeling that she failed
somehow. So show some charity and
at least keep her in the loop.)
Lesson #19 is to remember that sooner or later this will be
over. It is also important to
remind one’s spouse of this, especially since after the third operation it will
begin to feel to him as if he’s always been sick and won’t get better. (What’s really happening is that by the time he’s just starting to feel
better, he has to have another operation, which puts him back feeling wounded
again. And by the time he’s starting to heal from that, he has another operation, so he never gets to
the point of feeling 100%.)
Lesson #20 is that anyone (and their near family) who has to
deal with a nephrostomy tube and a urine collection bag for two months is going
to appreciate the body’s amazing plumbing waaaay more than they ever did
before.
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