Strange Search Terms, or “What brings YOU here?”

From time to time, I look over the search terms that bring people to my blog.  Here are some that caught me eye recently and I couldn’t refrain from commenting on them.

From the Balaam Department

“balaam archeology”

Sounds like a cool name for a company.   It has a certain ring to it.  Something almost explosive, yet vaguely holy..

“balaam's donkey probe”

This takes the Bible story in a strangely medical direction.

From the Self-Psychoanalysis-and-Self-Improvement Department

“how did i get to be harsh and judgmental?”

Some real soul-searching going on in the Google search engine here.  And let me tell you, I’ll be the first to admit I’ve used a search engine to try to find greater insight into my faults.

“18 ways to be courageous”

 Sounds great!  When you find them, I hope you will share them with me.   I just hope there are exactly 18 and no more, otherwise you’ll miss the others.

From the Family Harmony and Tranquility Department

“amlicites family home evening battle”

Are you looking for a how-to article to have this battle for family home evening, or are you trying to avoid a battle?   Either way, I want to hear about it.

From the Visionary Department

“jesus washed my feet in my dream”

Wow.  Cool.  I wish MY dreams showed me something like that.  I’ve had a few in which I was promised a future visit, but nothing like that.

From the Now-You’ve-Got-Me-Curious department

“object lesson about difference between grace and mercy water gun”

Ummm.. Let’s see.  Mercy is like getting squirted with a water gun and grace is like getting dunked in the pool?   How’s that?

“parachute story lds the first principles and ordinances of the gospel”

Evidently, gospel lessons can come from extreme sports.  I’m just not sure where baptism would fit in this one.

From the False-Doctrines department

“hugh nibley casting lucifer out of heaven”

Clearly a comma should have come after “nibley.”

From the Large Reptile Department

“crocodile eating”

I’ve had alligator nuggets at Gater World In Orlando Florida, but I haven’t eaten any crocodiles.  I also don’t own any pet reptiles.   But I have a nice blog post about spiritual crocodiles..

“gator shoes camoflauge”

Someone is trying to hide from the alligators.  With a broken spell checker.

From the Literary-Mashup Department

“dr suess stand in holy places”

Can you imagine Doctrine & Covenants crossed with Dr. Suess?

We’ll build Zion, you will see.

Lamb and lion, together be.

We will build a temple here,

Mob and hell you’ll never fear.

Uh… never mind.