Book Review: Improving Family Communication: 16 FHE Lessons on Christlike Communication

In an era when social media and smart phones are slowly decreasing face-to-face communication and as unproductive communication practices seem to be spreading, Improving Family Communication: 16 FHE Lessons on Christlike Communication by Rebecca Irvine promises busy LDS parents easy plans for how to teach their children healthy communication skills.

The lessons start from a foundation of self-concept and self-worth, lead into emotions, non-verbal communication, then various methods of communicating with civility. Then they also cover topics necessary for repairing relationships after conflict, such as apologies and forgiveness.

Each lesson has a purpose, a scripture, a thought, a short lesson, discussion questions, a fun activity to reinforce the lesson, a fun activity for much smaller children, a challenge to act on, and suggested music from the hymn book or primary song book to sing.

Reading through, I felt like the lesson information was tightly focused and helpful, without getting technical or jargon-ish. The activities seemed both fun and effective for reinforcing the lesson purpose. The kid in me wishes I could be part of these activities.

Growing up, I personally learned about communication through a lot of different experiences in my life and different books, but I think if I had had these concepts presented to me in an organized way like this, it would have helped me a lot in life. I think this is a great thing to be made available to LDS parents. 

A quick survey of Amazon’s books seems to show that this is the only one of its kind that is aimed at helping parents train their kids in communication. I saw lots of books dedicated to helping adults talk to adults and adults talk to kids, but none that seemed geared toward lessons for kids to teach them foundational principles and good communication practices.

Is there anything not to like about this book?

Wellllll…I personally found myself wanting more depth in the lesson sections (‘cause I’m curious like that), but I realize this book wasn’t meant to be an elaborate treatise, so it is just what it should be.

Improving Family Communication is available for $2.99 at Amazon.

Disclosure: I was given a free copy for reviewing purposes, but this in no way influences my review.

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Disturbances to get gain

Now, it was for the sole purpose to get gain, because they received their wages according to their employ, therefore, they did stir up the people to riotings, and all manner of disturbances and wickedness, that they might have more employ, that they might get money according to the suits which were brought before them; therefore they did stir up the people against Alma and Amulek. (Alma 11:20)

This verse talks about the dangers of law-craft becoming a means of stirring people up to disturbances, in order for the lawyers to get gain, but I think it can apply in other ways too. Anyone who stands to profit from an increase in disturbance may become suspect.

For instance, what good is a big army in peacetime? Preparation is important, but how much is too much? Nibley (who worked in Army intelligence) later wrote of his concern when he saw army leaders being sad when WWII was over because they would be out of a job…until they discovered the idea of little brushfires wars around the world.   Likewise, those who sell weapons have an interest in conflict becoming armed and dangerous.

Disturbance is news, so those who report the news have a sort of motivation not only to find the conflict to report it, but also to continue talking about it and hashing it over as much as possible, all while publicly tsk-tsking over what goes on. The 24-hour news cycle was a model created in the 80s that also created a constant demand for material to report. The news cycle means not only reporting events, but also reporting reaction to those events from all kinds of stakeholders in the story and even those who are not involved. Competition between news providers means they must deliver the latest news in the most compelling manner to stay ahead. They get dollars for capturing eyeballs to sell to advertisers.

Social media enables those who gather a large following to make money from online advertising.

Sharing on social media may start with sharing valuable perspective that may otherwise go unheard, but there is a darker side. When emphasis on conflict becomes a primary means of capturing and holding attention--as followers are gripped with curiosity and want to see what happens next—when a social media person’s involvement is devoted mostly to taking sides in controversies—and followers are encouraged to take action to attack and shame those they consider enemies, then social media advocacy is stirring up disturbance.

I think it behooves us to keep these things in mind and be careful not to let ourselves get stirred up to anger. Part of charity is to not be easily provoked. We need people with those qualities even more now.

Religious Misunderstandings Ironed Out in Joshua 22

1 Then Joshua called the Reubenites, and the Gadites, and the half tribe of Manasseh,

2 And said unto them, Ye have kept all that Moses the servant of the Lord commanded you, and have obeyed my voice in all that I commanded you:

3 Ye have not left your brethren these many days unto this day, but have kept the charge of the commandment of the Lord your God.

4 And now the Lord your God hath given rest unto your brethren, as he promised them: therefore now return ye, and get you unto your tents, and unto the land of your possession, which Moses the servant of the Lord gave you on the other side Jordan.

5 But take diligent heed to do the commandment and the law, which Moses the servant of the Lord charged you, to love the Lord your God, and to walk in all his ways, and to keep his commandments, and to cleave unto him, and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul.

6 So Joshua blessed them, and sent them away: and they went unto their tents.

7 ¶ Now to the one half of the tribe of Manasseh Moses had given possession in Bashan: but unto the other half thereof gave Joshua among their brethren on this side Jordan westward. And when Joshua sent them away also unto their tents, then he blessed them,

8 And he spake unto them, saying, Return with much riches unto your tents, and with very much cattle, with silver, and with gold, and with brass, and with iron, and with very much raiment: divide the spoil of your enemies with your brethren.

9 ¶ And the children of Reuben and the children of Gad and the half tribe of Manasseh returned, and departed from the children of Israel out of Shiloh, which is in the land of Canaan, to go unto the country of Gilead, to the land of their possession, whereof they were possessed, according to the word of the Lord by the hand of Moses.

10 ¶ And when they came unto the borders of Jordan, that are in the land of Canaan, the children of Reuben and the children of Gad and the half tribe of Manasseh built there an altar by Jordan, a great altar to see to.

11 ¶ And the children of Israel heard say, Behold, the children of Reuben and the children of Gad and the half tribe of Manasseh have built an altar over against the land of Canaan, in the borders of Jordan, at the passage of the children of Israel.

12 And when the children of Israel heard of it, the whole congregation of the children of Israel gathered themselves together at Shiloh, to go up to war against them.

13 And the children of Israel sent unto the children of Reuben, and to the children of Gad, and to the half tribe of Manasseh, into the land of Gilead, Phinehas the son of Eleazar the priest,

14 And with him ten princes, of each chief house a prince throughout all the tribes of Israel; and each one was an head of the house of their fathers among the thousands of Israel.

15 ¶ And they came unto the children of Reuben, and to the children of Gad, and to the half tribe of Manasseh, unto the land of Gilead, and they spake with them, saying,

16 Thus saith the whole congregation of the Lord, What trespass is this that ye have committed against the God of Israel, to turn away this day from following the Lord, in that ye have builded you an altar, that ye might rebel this day against the Lord?

17 Is the iniquity of Peor too little for us, from which we are not cleansed until this day, although there was a plague in the congregation of the Lord,

18 But that ye must turn away this day from following the Lord? and it will be, seeing ye rebel to day against the Lord, that to morrow he will be wroth with the whole congregation of Israel.

19 Notwithstanding, if the land of your possession be unclean, then pass ye over unto the land of the possession of the Lord, wherein the Lord’s tabernacle dwelleth, and take possession among us: but rebel not against the Lord, nor rebel against us, in building you an altar beside the altar of the Lord our God.

20 Did not Achan the son of Zerah commit a trespass in the accursed thing, and wrath fell on all the congregation of Israel? and that man perished not alone in his iniquity.

21 ¶ Then the children of Reuben and the children of Gad and the half tribe of Manasseh answered, and said unto the heads of the thousands of Israel,

22 The Lord God of gods, the Lord God of gods, he knoweth, and Israel he shall know; if it be in rebellion, or if in transgression against the Lord, (save us not this day,)

23 That we have built us an altar to turn from following the Lord, or if to offer thereon burnt offering or meat offering, or if to offer peace offerings thereon, let the Lord himself require it;

24 And if we have not rather done it for fear of this thing, saying, In time to come your children might speak unto our children, saying, What have ye to do with the Lord God of Israel?

25 For the Lord hath made Jordan a border between us and you, ye children of Reuben and children of Gad; ye have no part in the Lord: so shall your children make our children cease from fearing the Lord.

26 Therefore we said, Let us now prepare to build us an altar, not for burnt offering, nor for sacrifice:

27 But that it may be a witness between us, and you, and our generations after us, that we might do the service of the Lord before him with our burnt offerings, and with our sacrifices, and with our peace offerings; that your children may not say to our children in time to come, Ye have no part in the Lord.

28 Therefore said we, that it shall be, when they should so say to us or to our generations in time to come, that we may say again, Behold the pattern of the altar of the Lord, which our fathers made, not for burnt offerings, nor for sacrifices; but it is a witness between us and you.

29 God forbid that we should rebel against the Lord, and turn this day from following the Lord, to build an altar for burnt offerings, for meat offerings, or for sacrifices, beside the altar of the Lord our God that is before his tabernacle.

30 ¶ And when Phinehas the priest, and the princes of the congregation and heads of the thousands of Israel which were with him, heard the words that the children of Reuben and the children of Gad and the children of Manasseh spake, it pleased them.

31 And Phinehas the son of Eleazar the priest said unto the children of Reuben, and to the children of Gad, and to the children of Manasseh, This day we perceive that the Lord is among us, because ye have not committed this trespass against the Lord: now ye have delivered the children of Israel out of the hand of the Lord.

32 ¶ And Phinehas the son of Eleazar the priest, and the princes, returned from the children of Reuben, and from the children of Gad, out of the land of Gilead, unto the land of Canaan, to the children of Israel, and brought them word again.

33 And the thing pleased the children of Israel; and the children of Israel blessed God, and did not intend to go up against them in battle, to destroy the land wherein the children of Reuben and Gad dwelt.

34 And the children of Reuben and the children of Gad called the altar Ed: for it shall be a witness between us that the Lord is God. (Joshua 22)

This is an interesting story with details that are best understood with reference to earlier stories in the Old Testament.

The chapter starts as the children of Israel have finished conquering the land of Canaan (or as much as they could conquer). Joshua lets the Reubenites, Gadites, and half of Manasseh go to their possessions on the east side of the Jordan river. (They had actually been the first ones to obtain inheritance, but on condition that they would continue to fight alongside the rest of the tribes until everyone had obtained land of inheritance.)

V1-8 is Joshua’s dismissal of these tribes with a charge that they remember to keep the commandments and love the Lord.

-Take diligent heed to the commandment and the law

-love the Lord

-walk in His ways

-keep the commandments

-cleave to Him

-serve Him with all heart and soul

I have to wonder if Joshua was worried these tribes would forget God on the margins of the land.

V9-10  The 2 ½ tribes build an altar by Jordan, and it is said to be a very great altar, perhaps very large, visible all over.

V11  Rumor of the great altar is spread all around, and it causes consternation and worry and indignation. Why? Because in Leviticus 17:8-9 is a commandments that those who don’t bring their sacrifices to the Tabernacle’s altar are to be cut off (excommunicated). The tribes on the west side of Jordan jump to the conclusion that the 2 ½ tribes on the east side built this altar for sacrifice in opposition to the commandment. They worry this altar is a sign of idolatry starting in the eastern tribes.

V 12-14  The news of the big altar at Jordan in defiance of the commandments causes the western 9 ½ tribes to get ready for battle. To them, this altar, if built by one man, wouldn’t have been permitted by the man’s neighbors, if they were righteous. Therefore, it was built by the whole people on the east, therefore that whole group must be corrupted and require an army to invade and put things right.  To make sure the evil is stamped out, they send Phineas, the son of Eleazar the priest.

Here’s some quick background on Phineas.  Phineas is the same guy who speared two idolaters in their tent for committing ritual prostitution with the Moabites (see Numbers 25:1-15). Phineas was commended for his zeal in that act, and so he is sent to make sure that no idolater escapes punishment.

Also with Phineas are sent 10 princes of the western tribes to talk with the eastern tribes, according to the commandment in Deut. 13:12-15, to inquire diligently and see if the whole place is given to idolatry and find out if the rumors are true or not. (If the rumors are true, then the army gets called in to destroy the people.) It is a fact-finding expedition before the boom is lowered.

V16-20  The fact-finding expedition lays out the accusations—that the eastern tribes have rebelled against God by building an altar. They express the general worries that the eastern tribes will bring a plague on the rest of Israel just like Peor and Achan did in their idolatry and greed, which caused others to die too. (Achan was a fellow who took spoils from the conquest of Jericho and hid them in his tent in defiance of the command that the spoil was to be consecrated to the Lord. Because of his disobedience, Israel lost badly in their next military engagement, and he had to be detected by lot.(Joshua 7))

It is notable that they temper the accusations against the 2 ½ tribes with the supposition that maybe the eastern tribes have built the big altar in an effort to sanctify their land (maybe they thought their land was unclean), but princes say if the eastern tribes think that, they can come back and live on the west side of Jordan so they can be in a holy land too. This shows the western tribes were trying to think about what honest, good motives the eastern tribes might have had for building that big altar. This would go a long way toward softening the confrontation. People always want to be thought of as doing what’s right, and expressing some sense of trying to understand others as having good motives helps keep peace.

V22-29 The eastern tribes are very strong in denial of idolatry. They call upon God to punish them if their hearts are wrong and they ask to die that day if they are false to God. This is very serious stuff.

Instead, they say they have built the altar to try to prevent future problems. They worry that the western tribes’ descendants would someday exclude the eastern tribes’ descendants from worshipping the God of Israel at the Tabernacle and thereby turn the easterners from following the Lord. Their solution was to build a big altar in the exact pattern of the Tabernacle’s altar of sacrifice to show both sides that the eastern tribes worshipped the same God, that they knew what was done in the temple, they knew how it looked, and their knowledge was their license to participate. The altar was not for sacrifice, but to look at.

V30-34 Phineas and the 10 other princes are pleased with the explanation, and they go back to tell everyone else. Phineas’s declaration is notable too:

“This day we perceive that the Lord is among us, because ye have not committed this trespass against the Lord: now ye have delivered the children of Israel out of the hand of the Lord.” (v31)

In what way had the eastern tribes saved Israel from God?

1)    They had given a good explanation that saved everyone from a fratricidal war. Yay for peace!

2)    They had brought up an important issue—the dangers of disunity in the future that might arise from barriers of geography, in this case the river Jordan—and taken steps to avoid it, such that descendants of Israel would remember to not exclude some marginal groups, thinking they were unfaithful. Excluding the faithful with hasty judgments has eternal consequences and Israel didn’t want to make that mistake.

In what way did Phineas see that the Lord was among them?

He realized that the eastern tribes had acted to try to increase unity and faithfulness. Efforts to do that are inspired by God. Further, by trying to find out what was going on, the fact-finding group got to learn of those unification efforts, and thereby they learned how God was working among the margins to increase unity, as well as in the center.

Seeing it this way—as efforts to unify and prevent future error—is what pleased all the rest of Israel when they heard it. Efforts to unify in righteousness always please the faithful.

So what do we learn from this story?

--It is important to find out the facts before lowering the boom with punishment.

--For those who are tasked with confronting those who appear to have transgressed commandments, it is important to share how things look and also try to imagine how it might have been thought a good thing. Imputing good motives to people helps keep relationships constructive.

--Anticipating future problems and putting in place solutions to mitigate them is helpful.

--It would be wise to avoid thinking that members outside or far from major member population centers are any less faithful than those at the center.

--Willingness to explain one’s actions to others helps keep the peace. Sometimes we may think we don’t need to explain, but people want to understand and people be understood.

--Efforts to increase unity among the righteous are inspired by God.

I think this is a helpful story because today our church isn’t just a little area. It is a global church and we are spread out all over, speaking so many different languages. More than ever it is important to avoid making prideful assumptions that put down other members. The Lord wants us to be unified in faithfulness and righteousness in spite of the distances between congregations and language barriers, and His Spirit works to increase that unity. We strive for unity in doctrine, unity in worship, unity in faith, unity in good works.

The Lord's word is sent and prospers

 

10 For as the rain cometh down, and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower, and bread to the eater:

 11 So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it. (Isaiah 55:10-11)

Here Isaiah compares the word of God to rain in order to show how the word of God works in our lives.  We see the rain come down and hit the ground, but we are not usually watching to see it soak in.  We don’t see how it nourishes sees and roots and how it helps plants to grow.  And the positive effect of rain on plants is not immediately visible; it takes a little time to see wilty plants perk up or seeks sprouting, but it is effective.

In the same way, when we teach gospel principles or when we see gospel principles taught, we don’t always get to see it penetrate a heart and inspire a person to change their life and repent.  We don’t see who is impacted or to what extent.  Rarely do we get to see signs this is happening, nor does it happen all at once.  However, it does work.  It works in our lives, if we let it, and it will work in others’ lives.  And I suppose that even if the harvest is not entirely what we would expect, the harvest will be what God intended.

I think Isaiah was inspired to give this principle to people who were so impatient to see results of their preaching that they got discouraged if listeners didn’t immediately change in the way they wanted.  With that kind of attitude, if immediate change is not seen, one tends to start believing that the word of God is not effective at all, that it “returns void” of results.  Isaiah assured his people (and us) that the word of God is effective, but takes time and patience, that it works where we can’t see, and it does what God pleases, not necessarily what we please.

Of course the other principle that complements this one is agency.  Everyone gets to choose to follow the Lord or reject His influence.  Everyone gets to discover the consequences of their choices.  One of the major purposes of the Lord’s word is to make us aware of our choices, to bring to our attention the best possible choices along with the eternal blessings in the hopes that we will choose His way.  Another purpose of the Lord’s word is to remind us that it isn’t too late to be redeemed by Christ’s power, nor is it too late to repent and make better choices.  Those purposes are always fulfilled, even if a person makes the wrong choice.

No matter how far down we fall, there is always a part of us that yearns to be obedient to the Lord’s word.  The Holy Ghost speaks directly to this part of us.  Following is the challenge of a lifetime.

What good choice are you going to make or what change are you going to make in your life today because of the word of the Lord that was sent to you?

Alma’s lessons for overcoming overbearing tendencies

Shiblon is generally considered one of Alma’s good sons who is mostly commended for good work and taking persecution well. However, recently I started to see that Alma’s instructions to Shiblon in Alma 38 seem to be mostly focused on trying to curb Shiblon’s pride and tendency to be overbearing.

Just what is being overbearing and why is it a problem?

I looked up “overbearing” and my dictionary widget said it meant “expecting unquestioning obedience; authoritarian, dictatorial, domineering; having or showing arrogant superiority to and disdain of those one views as unworthy.”

This is good as far as it goes, but I couldn’t fully understand it until I had had someone be overbearing at me. It was something I had to experience to recognize.

I’ve met some overbearing people and I’ve noticed that even when they say things I know are true and righteous, their manner of saying it makes me feel like they think I’m ignorant and uninterested in the things of God. Their manner makes me want to argue or prove that I am better than them by topping them. I find that it takes a lot of effort to keep a good attitude and frequently I find that I just have to escape. (Even more troubling, I’m beginning to realize that since I have begun to see it, there is a very high probability that I am afflicted with the very same problem and just can’t see it in myself.)

When I spent some time with someone who was overbearing, at the end of the encounter I knew there was something about their attitude that I didn’t like, but I couldn’t think of a good word to describe it. After pondering over it for a while, the term “overbearing” came to mind.

Now, how did I arrive at the conclusion that Shiblon had troubles with being overbearing? The best evidence is that Alma advised Shiblon in Alma 38:12 to “use boldness but not overbearance” and Alma probably would not give that specific bit unless it was needed.

After that, I began to notice that Alma’s other instructions started to come together into a pattern.

Alma’s instructions are:

• Remember to trust God for your deliverance (v5)
• There is no other means besides Christ we can be saved (v9)
• Be diligent and temperate in all things (v10)
• Don’t be lifted up in pride (v11)
• Don’t boast of your strength and wisdom (v11)
• Use boldness but not overbearance (v12)
• Bridle your passions (v12)
• Refrain from idleness (v12)
• Do not pray to be heard of men or praised for wisdom (v13)
• Do not thank God you are better than your brethren, but acknowledge your unworthiness before God at all times (v14)
• Pray for God to remember your brothers in mercy (v14)
• Be sober (v15)
• Continue to teach the word (v2, 15)

It seems that Shiblon was strong in the gospel and was rather proud of it. It seems he had a tendency to trust in his own strength rather than trusting God, so Alma tried to remind him that Christ was the one who did the saving. Alma also reminds Shiblon that Alma’s own testimony did not come from himself (Alma), but from the Spirit that made things known. This can seem particularly self-deprecating to us, considering Alma was the high priest over all the land (and we can’t help but think he’s totally awesome), but it underlines how Alma was trying to remind Shiblon that the credit for a testimony belongs to God.

After reading about this, I remembered there was a point when Shiblon became the one keeping the records (and possibly high priest in the land.) So I went looking for it. And I found it in Alma 63. And it happened during a period of Nephite history when there is great peace in the land coupled with great righteousness, which is told in Alma 62:49-51:

49 But notwithstanding their riches, or their strength, or their prosperity, they were not lifted up in the pride of their eyes; neither were they slow to remember the Lord their God; but they did humble themselves exceedingly before him.

50 Yea, they did remember how great things the Lord had done for them, that he had delivered them from death, and from bonds, and from prisons, and from all manner of afflictions, and he had delivered them out of the hands of their enemies.

51 And they did pray unto the Lord their God continually, insomuch that the Lord did bless them, according to his word, so that they did wax strong and prosper in the land. (Alma 62:49-52)

And then Shiblon takes possession of the sacred things at Helaman’s death, and then this extraordinary series of migrations away from Zarahemla begins. Scads of people leave in Alma 63, heading northward.

1 And it came to pass in the commencement of the thirty and sixth year of the reign of the judges over the people of Nephi, that Shiblon took possession of those sacred things which had been delivered unto Helaman by Alma.

2 And he was a just man, and he did walk uprightly before God; and he did observe to do good continually, to keep the commandments of the Lord his God; and also did his brother….

4 And it came to pass that in the thirty and seventh year of the reign of the judges, there was a large company of men, even to the amount of five thousand and four hundred men, with their wives and their children, departed out of the land of Zarahemla into the land which was northward.

5 And it came to pass that Hagoth, he being an exceedingly curious man, therefore he went forth and built him an exceedingly large ship, on the borders of the land Bountiful, by the land Desolation, and launched it forth into the west sea, by the narrow neck which led into the land northward.

6 And behold, there were many of the Nephites who did enter therein and did sail forth with much provisions, and also many women and children; and they took their course northward. And thus ended the thirty and seventh year.

7 And in the thirty and eighth year, this man built other ships. And the first ship did also return, and many more people did enter into it; and they also took much provisions, and set out again to the land northward.

8 And it came to pass that they were never heard of more. And we suppose that they were drowned in the depths of the sea. And it came to pass that one other ship also did sail forth; and whither she did go we know not.

9 And it came to pass that in this year there were many people who went forth into the land northward. And thus ended the thirty and eighth year. (Alma 63:

10 And it came to pass in the thirty and ninth year of the reign of the judges, Shiblon died also, and Corianton had gone forth to the land northward in a ship, to carry forth provisions unto the people who had gone forth into that land.

11 Therefore it became expedient for Shiblon to confer those sacred things, before his death, upon the son of Helaman, who was called Helaman, being called after the name of his father.

12 Now behold, all those engravings which were in the possession of Helaman were written and sent forth among the children of men throughout all the land, save it were those parts which had been commanded by Alma should not go forth. (Alma 63:1-2,4-12)

No contention whatsoever, just migration. This mass migration had always puzzled me, but I began to suspect that perhaps Shiblon didn’t conquer (or notice) his tendency to be overbearing, and perhaps his overbearing manner drove good people away and they felt like they had to escape. He may have even alienated his brother Corianton, since Corianton decided to take provisions to the people who had gone northward.

Maybe I am hard on Shiblon, but people don’t leave for no reason. There wasn’t contention in the land, yet they left. Shiblon had the records for three years, and then he died. When Shiblon (near death) passed on the records to Helaman’s son Helaman, Helaman did a smart thing and had the records copied and sent out in all the parts of the land so that people could benefit from the word of God without being bothered by a human transmitter-preacher. That way they could get the benefit of the scriptures themselves. Perhaps this was an effort to pull them back into the main church again.

It is rather disturbing to see Shiblon this way. We like to think of the good men of the scriptures as men without any personality flaw, but unfortunately, that isn’t very realistic because we know we all have flaws we have to overcome. To give Shiblon his due, he had some excellent points to his character too; he was patient under persecution, he was valiant at keeping the commandments of God, he was a just man, he walked uprightly before God, and he observed to do good continually. There was just that problem of overbearance.

To me, finding this out about Shiblon makes Alma 38 that much more valuable to me, since it provides a series of instructions that we can also use to make sure that we avoid being overbearing.

I have a feeling that I may be overbearing too on occasion, even though I can’t yet recognize exact times when I have been so. That means the only way I can escape this fault in my spiritual blind spot is to follow what Alma’s instructions in chapter 38. I can also pray for the Lord to help me repent. I’ll have to have the Lord help me recognize times when I have been overbearing and that will be painful because it will be times when I felt I was doing right and was proud of what I was doing. I will need to ask the Lord to help me know and practice the right way of treating people.

(Later)

Okay.

Heavenly Father helped me find out what happens when I am overbearing. At bottom, it arises out of my doubt in someone else’s dedication or commitment and an implicit assumption that I am better than them (pride). That leads me to a desire to control and force dedication and commitment in them by overemphasizing and overdoing my explanation. However, everyone is able to tell when someone doubts them, so when I doubt someone, they know it and they resent it, especially if they don’t think of themselves as having less dedication or commitment than me. Their resentment of being looked down upon leads them to want to resist me.

You know, I just have to say that I am so grateful that the Lord gave us the Book of Mormon for our day. The more I read it, the more I learn about what my flaws are, which gives me an opportunity to repent and get God’s help to change.

How does the Lord make Nephi’s words strong?

We know Nephi considers himself a much better speaker than writer because he knows it is the Spirit that carries his spoken word into the hearts of men and he can tell when that is happening. He seems to feel a lot less confident of his writing because he can’t tell when it will make the right impression or not. (Aside: Every time I read his worries, I just want to yell," NEPHI, HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT!? YOUR WORDS ARE GREAT!!")

In spite of his feelings about his weakness as a writer, he tells us how he knows the Lord will make his words strong.

4 And I know that the Lord God will consecrate my prayers for the gain of my people. And the words which I have written in weakness will be made strong unto them; for it persuadeth them to do good; it maketh known unto them of their fathers; and it speaketh of Jesus, and persuadeth them to believe in him, and to endure to the end, which is life eternal.
5 And it speaketh harshly against sin, according to the plainness of the truth; wherefore, no man will be angry at the words which I have written save he shall be of the spirit of the devil. (2 Nephi 33:4-5)

There are six good purposes in that list. So to apply this to our lives, especially to those of us who blog about the gospel, even if we feel our gospel writing is weak, if our words

• Persuade others to do good
• Make known to people of their ancestors and families
• Speak of Jesus
• Persuade others to believe in Jesus
• Persuade others to endure to the end, which is eternal life
• Speak harshly against sin using the plainness of the truth

...then the Lord will make our written words strong. It seems having a righteous intent and sticking very carefully to that is a big part in the Lord’s ability to make our words strong. I am encouraged by this, especially since so much sharing the gospel is online through the written word and we have no idea who may be reading what we’ve written.

The Tower of Babel Building Project and Its Negative Consequences

1 And the whole earth was of one language, and of one speech.
2 And it came to pass, as they journeyed from the east, that they found a plain in the land of Shinar; and they dwelt there.
3 And they said one to another, Go to, let us make brick, and burn them throughly. And they had brick for stone, and slime had they for morter.
4 And they said, Go to, let us build us a city and a tower, whose top may reach unto heaven; and let us make us a name, lest we be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth. (Genesis 11:1-4)

let us make us a name – It sounds to me like the people wanted to make a reputation for themselves. What kind of reputation? I’m not sure. But evidently they thought it involved an ambitious building program. Why did they want the reputation? I think a clue to that comes from the next phrase “lest we be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth”. They wanted a reputation that would keep them from being dispersed (by marauding armies?). They didn’t want anybody to mess with them.

Two possibilities occur to me about what kind of reputation they wanted to make for themselves. I think they either wanted to make a reputation as the best fortified people around, or as the greatest and fanciest housed people around. (Or maybe they were going for both at once.) If they were the best fortified, no incoming armies could get in. If they had the best houses and best public buildings, then the tourists and travelers would want to live there and they could attract the best people.

5 And the Lord came down to see the city and the tower, which the children of men builded.
6 And the Lord said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do. (Genesis 11:5-6)

Once a people gets started with the goal of making a reputation of being the best-fortified and/or the grandest, there is nothing to stop them. Even natural limits and environmental factors seem to be ignored.

However, natural limits and environmental factors may have played a larger part in the fate of the Babelites than previously thought.

One natural limit that seems to come to mind is that of transportation. Usually bricks had to be made as close to on-site as possible, since transportation of the heavy load over long distances would be prohibitively expensive.

Another natural limit is the availability of the building materials themselves. For strong bricks of the mud variety, a brickyard needed good sources of mud, clay, sand, and straw. If they were dried in the sun instead of burnt in a kiln, their useful life was about 30 years. If they were burnt in a kiln, then a plentiful source of fuel was needed to feed the kiln fires.

Another natural limit that comes to mind is that of the natural load capacity and load bearing weight of the bricks themselves. The higher the tower was to be, the larger the base would have to be to support the height, and the greater the load would be on the bricks at the bottom. How high could the tower be before the bricks in it began to fail? Modern brick skyscrapers of brick haven’t been made much taller than 17 or 18 stories.

Did the Babelites care about these limits? Evidently not. They won’t be restrained from anything. So here’s God’s reaction:

7 Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another’s speech.
8 So the Lord scattered them abroad from thence upon the face of all the earth: and they left off to build the city. (Genesis 11:1-8)

One thing I have learned from the scriptures is that cursings occur most frequently through natural processes, as the wickedness of a people prepares the way for their own punishment. When I recently was reading through this story, I had an easy time visualizing how the insistent demands of the ruling builder class might disregard the importance of conserving environmental resources and lead to the lack of resources to continue building, but I didn’t realize the seriousness of the situation until I ran across a modern article from Human Rights Solidarity called “INDIA: Farmers and the Environment Suffer Mining in Paddy Fields”, by C. G. Baiju which detailed a situation that could be something similar to what Babelites faced.

It starts with excessive clay mining. Commercialization of clay for brick and tile leads to over-harvesting. When proportions are not restricted, the soil fertility is damaged for several years. Gaping chasms from clay harvesting causes the groundwater levels in surrounding agricultural lands to fall, and farmers find their wells and lakes going dry. Soon many inhabitants do not have access to safe drinking water.

In addition, clay mining requires additional labor which must be imported from other areas, whereas agricultural labor employment is low-paying, so agricultural workers are tempted into the higher-paying industries.

The government has no clear plans for how to address the environmental problems caused by clay mining and altercations occur between the farmers and the clay miners.

Examining the story of Babel in light of India’s clay mining shows us that with no prospects for improvement, it is no surprise that Babelites would have left the area for someplace better. How ironic that the very thing they wished to avoid in the first place ended up happening to them anyway.

Concerning the mechanism through which the Babelite’s language was confounded, I have this inner hunch that it may have been Satan confounding the language rather than Heavenly Father. In other scriptures we have much that tells us the difference between God’s workings and Satan’s workings.

We know that the Spirit of the Lord tends toward unity and community and brings about understanding through the bestowal of spiritual gifts. We know that the Lord speaks with plainness to the understanding of men, that He is a God of order, not confusion.

On the other hand, we also know that Satan is the father of contention, that he tries to harden people’s hearts, and he stirs people up to anger so that they fight with each other. We know that Satan prefers to work in darkness and loves to confuse, blind, and otherwise muddy the waters in any way he can.

Here’s how I imagine it might have occurred, in an ancient/modern sort of way:

The ruling classes (the top people) who are making the decisions to build think there should be plenty of good brick and the tower should go upward indefinitely. (“It’s a new paradigm!”)

The workers know good mud is getting scarce.

The farmers notice that water levels are dropping and they are irate that there isn’t enough water for their fields, animals, and families. The farmers also want to know what good this tower is going to do them.

Top people say the tower is good for attracting business. (“If you build it, they will come.”) It’s good for the economy.

The farmers ask who is going to pay for it.

Top people say it is coming from taxes. The farmers hate this idea and protest. (And they get executed in a variety of cruel and unusual ways for their cheekiness.)

The farmers want to know where the labor is going to come from to work on the tower, since it takes more man-hours to build, the higher it gets.

Top people hire additional unskilled labor (or capture slaves?) from surrounding countryside. This influx puts a strain on the food supply and food prices go up. Everyone feels it except the top people, who seem to have plenty of money.

Top people think it should take the same amount of time to build a ten food stack from 100 feet off the ground as it does to build it at ground level. Top people call workers “lazy” and institute productivity quotas.

Some workers begin cutting corners to make their quotas. Other workers get irate and complain that the brick is not good quality because it isn’t being made with all the needed ingredients and ingredients are getting scarcer.

Top people say, “Don’t worry about it; just daub a little extra mud in the cracks and it will be fine.

[tower begins to crumble because it is structurally unsound]

Workers say, “I told you so!” Farmers say, “We’re paying taxes for a tower that’s structurally unsound?!” Top people are aghast, blame the workers for bad workmanship, and search around for ways to patch up the tower.

Workers also demand accidental death insurance benefits for high falls and ask for lifelines and proper safety nets. Top people scoff and subject workers to a variety of cruel and unusual punishments for their cheekiness to suggest such a thing. Top people also call in scabs to break up strikes.

News of rioting and trouble scares away merchants and tourists. Starving and thirsty farmers can’t pay the taxes. Top people can’t pay workers. Workers can’t find good resources to build good bricks.

Starving, thirsty, and impoverished farmers and workers get frustrated at top people, become alienated and go somewhere else, because top people simply will NOT UNDERSTAND what they are talking about.

[construction stops]

So what have I learned from this story? It seems to be a warning against pride and it seems to call attention to how pride can lead to a person into trying to make a reputation for themselves in something. It seems to point to how putting all one’s energy into one pursuit out of pride can lead to neglect of other important concerns and how it can even bankrupt oneself of the resources to pursue that one activity further.

Personal Example: I really like blogging about the scriptures, but am I doing this so much because I want to share insights to help people, or am I doing it because I want to build a towering reputation? If I’m doing it for the rep, not only will I neglect my other duties but I will also diminish the very spiritual resources required to obtain spiritual insights in the first place. Pride destroys spiritual receptiveness—“I don’t want to listen because I’d rather think I know better”—and not only does it cause me to not understand the Lord’s messages to me, it also causes me to not understand the messages of my family, friends, and associates. My language becomes confounded.

We know from various experiences that when two sides to an issue refuse to understand each other, they might as well be speaking different languages, even if they both use the same mother tongue. Communication becomes confounded, with dialect, terminology, grammar, and writing soon to follow as each group tries to exclude the other from the discourse.

There you have it; the story of the Tower of Babel is about how pride destroys communication.

Image: artist unknown, found at Mark Mallet—Spiritual Food for Thought, http://www.markmallett.com/blog/?p=449