Book Review: Improving Family Communication: 16 FHE Lessons on Christlike Communication

In an era when social media and smart phones are slowly decreasing face-to-face communication and as unproductive communication practices seem to be spreading, Improving Family Communication: 16 FHE Lessons on Christlike Communication by Rebecca Irvine promises busy LDS parents easy plans for how to teach their children healthy communication skills.

The lessons start from a foundation of self-concept and self-worth, lead into emotions, non-verbal communication, then various methods of communicating with civility. Then they also cover topics necessary for repairing relationships after conflict, such as apologies and forgiveness.

Each lesson has a purpose, a scripture, a thought, a short lesson, discussion questions, a fun activity to reinforce the lesson, a fun activity for much smaller children, a challenge to act on, and suggested music from the hymn book or primary song book to sing.

Reading through, I felt like the lesson information was tightly focused and helpful, without getting technical or jargon-ish. The activities seemed both fun and effective for reinforcing the lesson purpose. The kid in me wishes I could be part of these activities.

Growing up, I personally learned about communication through a lot of different experiences in my life and different books, but I think if I had had these concepts presented to me in an organized way like this, it would have helped me a lot in life. I think this is a great thing to be made available to LDS parents. 

A quick survey of Amazon’s books seems to show that this is the only one of its kind that is aimed at helping parents train their kids in communication. I saw lots of books dedicated to helping adults talk to adults and adults talk to kids, but none that seemed geared toward lessons for kids to teach them foundational principles and good communication practices.

Is there anything not to like about this book?

Wellllll…I personally found myself wanting more depth in the lesson sections (‘cause I’m curious like that), but I realize this book wasn’t meant to be an elaborate treatise, so it is just what it should be.

Improving Family Communication is available for $2.99 at Amazon.

Disclosure: I was given a free copy for reviewing purposes, but this in no way influences my review.

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High Nibley on the comfort of purity in difficult circumstances

I read the book Sergeant Nibley Phd: Memories of an Unlikely Screaming Eagle yesterday.   I very much enjoyed it and recommend it.   It was about Hugh Nibley’s experience in World War II as part of army intelligence.  He was part of the force that invaded Normandy on D-day.

One particular experience of his I found particularly inspiring, so I want to share it with you.

One day I was asleep, all covered up in my foxhole, and Dave came running up and said, “Get up!  Grab a carbine and come quick!  The Germans are in Carentan, and they’re going to attack!”

And I heaved an enormous sigh of relief and I said, “Thank heaven!  It was only a dream!”  Because before he woke me I had been dreaming that I had committed a rather serious crime—I think I committed murder—and I was terrified by the dream.  When I woke in the foxhole with the guns firing and the noise and shouting all around and the dense smoke of rifle fire, I was so happy I could sing because I hadn’t committed that crime.  When I found it wasn’t true, it was as if I’d found myself in my bed in a palace.  “How happy I am!  Everything is all right!  The world is lovely and right because I have not sinned!” (p127-128)

I love this story because it shows what a wonderful thing it can be to have a clear conscience.  I suppose the Lord gave Hugh Nibley that dream specifically so that the comfort of finding it wasn't real would buoy him up in difficulty.

Elsewhere in the book, Nibley reflects on that further on that experience:

I remember the dream I had in the foxhole outside Carentan.  The one where Dave Bernay woke me up and I felt so happy because it was just a dream and I hadn’t actually committed the terrible crime I had dreamed about.  There I was in the middle of a battle, and I was completely happy.  It was a very strong thing; it came to me very strongly: I shouldn’t be happy in this circumstance!  But it’s not what happens to you that matters.  It’s not what becomes of you, it’s what you become that’s important.  And the tragedy today in America is not what becomes of us, but what we become.  As Brother Brigham used to say, if you don’t deserve hell and you’re sent to hell it doesn’t bother you.  You just say, I’m in the wrong place; there has been a mistake. It’ll be corrected, I don’t belong here.  But if you belong there, that’s the sad thing. Then it’s what you are.  There is the tragedy. (p125-126)

Book Review of Dear Jeff: Candid Advice from an Older Brother on Preparing to Enter the Temple

 

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 From time to time, we may know someone who is about to go through the temple for the first time, or someone who has just received their endowments.  Aside from the individual taking a temple preparation class, is there anything we can do for them to help them be more ready?  Now there is.   We can buy for them a copy of this book DearJeff: Candid Advice from an Older Brother on Preparing to Enter the Temple by J Washburn, which I am about to review for you. 

But before I start talking about this book, I have to tell a story about my first experience at the temple.  (cue the harp music and the wavy picture)

When I was young there came a time when I began to realize that what went on in the temple was very sacred, so sacred that the people I loved and respected in the church would hardly say anything about what went on there.  This bred a deep curiosity in me to find out what I was not being told.  I knew better than to look to sources that profaned the temple, but my curiosity caused me to listen more carefully whenever other members talked about the temple to see if I could pick out from their conversation something more about went on there.  It was like looking for little pieces of a gigantic puzzle.  Everything said could have been part of the puzzle, so I thought about all of it. 

When it came time to go through the temple and receive my endowment for the first time in the Chicago Temple in 2001, I was very excited, but I was also terrified.  I had gone through a temple prep class, but I still didn’t feel like I knew what to expect.  I was afraid I wouldn’t be up to whatever it was that would be revealed to me.  I remember sitting in my dressing room before my initiatory and crying, I felt so intimidated.  My mother (who was to be my escort) found me crying and compassionately explained to me it would help me if I saw the initiatory as ceremonial preparation for becoming a queen and priestess.  That extremely brief explanation established some badly needed context for me, enough for me to dry my tears, hush my fears, and then go through my initiatory and receive my endowment.

When I finished, I saw I had known some of what was in the endowment already because of reading the scriptures, but I hadn’t known what I knew because hardly anyone had mentioned what could be found there.  Suddenly phrases all over the scriptures began to acquire new significance to me because I knew they were in the endowment ceremony or they reminded me of it in some way.   Part of me wonders why some of these things couldn’t have been pointed out to me (or people like me) before.

Here’s where this book comes in--Dear Jeff: Candid Advice from an Older Brother on Preparing to Enter the Temple.  I really REALLY wish I had this book to read before I went through the temple for the first time.

Washburn goes through elements of temple preparation, initiatory, and endowment piece by piece, yet still keeping sacred things sacred.  This will help members new to the temple gain a little more specificity about what happens and in what order.  Here more pieces to the puzzle are at least presented in order, if not as a complete picture. 

Dear Jeff is fairly conversational and informal, in the sense that Washburn tries to explain things simply to a younger audience.   Along with quoting prophets and scriptures, to further reach the minds of the reader, Washburn uses fairy tales and pop culture icons.  You will find references to Jedi masters, Da Vinci Code characters, and Indiana Jones’ hat.  This could easily have felt irreverent or jarring, or a wrong mix between fiction and a sacred topic, but thankfully, Washburn handles it very well, using it to increase the reader’s readiness to learn.  Washburn is to be commended in that he never allows the cultural references to detract from points about the temple that he wants to make.  In some ways, his explanations have a beauty to them that remind me of C.S. Lewis’s well-loved essays and lectures on Christianity. 

Washburn also includes little personal experiences from himself, his grandfather (who was once president at the Las Vegas temple), and other siblings to help establish useful angles for looking at principles and events of temple worship.

Washburn has a few digressions as he discusses what it means to be a pilgrim or wanderer, a soldier of Christ, and a knight errant for Christ.  This may give the impression that these things are explicitly mentioned as part of the temple, even though they are not, but they will help long term in setting up larger themes that can be detected in certain parts of the endowment narrative and will be most easily recognized by people familiar with temple ceremonies. 

Throughout the book, I noticed it had a charitable tone exhibiting love for the reader without sounding condescending.  The book is written to Washburn’s younger siblings, so occasionally the reader feels a little like an eavesdropper, but there's also some fun in that.  It is also gives a tender sense of the love the Washburn has for his younger siblings in wanting to prepare them for their first temple experience.

While this book does not claim to present everything there is to know that can respectfully be said about the temple, it is an excellent read for anyone about to go through the temple for the first time.  I would not say that it would replace taking a temple preparation class, but it would be an excellent supplement to it.  Also, temple patrons who have gone through many times will find that it will broaden their perspective and give some ideas for deeper learning.

Dear Jeff can befound on Amazon in paperback and for Kindle, for 13.49 and 8.99 respectively. 

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Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog.  The opinions expressed are my own, and I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Book Review: The Power of Everyday Missionaries

The cover of The Power of Everyday Missionaries by Clay Christensen is not one that will jump off the shelf and grab you, but it is most definitely an excellent read, so pleeeeeeeeease don't judge this book by its cover!  I don’t think I would have picked it up, except for the fact that I had previously seen a few videos online of Clay Christensen and had been impressed by his personality and the way he tries to share his best insights.  (One was on his ideas for how to reform the healthcare system, and it was amazing to see how he was able to break down some of the complexities of the system and give some very simple ways to fix it.)  Christensen has a way of densely packing his thoughts and going to the root of the matter in a simple-to-understand manner that delights.

Soooo, when I saw this book with his name on it, I thought to myself, I need help finding ways to be a better missionary.  I bet this guy has some excellent perspective on it. And I picked it up and started reading. 

Now, you know and I know that there are right ways and wrong ways to try to motivate people to do missionary work.  Wrong ways tend to fill you with guilt without actually addressing your deepest concerns.  Wrong ways tend to assume that we somehow want to keep the gospel to ourselves.  Wrong ways assume that there are no obstacles (cultural/political/social/psychological) facing us, so they don’t even begin to give you techniques to cope with these internal or external obstacles.  Wrong ways leave you feeling defeated before you’ve even tried.

Very soon after I started reading, I found Christensen’s book to be one of the right ways to motivate.  It was full of ways we can change our thinking, principles to act by, and so many inspiring stories of how Christensen had used those principles to share the gospel with others.  In short, it is a major game-changer.  

Can I just say that again? 

MAJOR GAME-CHANGER!! 

Yes, I am yelling, and this is worth yelling about!

The first helpful thing Christensen does is show that changing our idea of what member missionary success is can help us get involved.  We tend to think we have succeeded when someone we have invited and referred to the missionaries decides to get baptized.  However, this is not a good measure of our missionary success because it is dependent upon someone else’s choices, which we can’t (and shouldn’t) control.  Christensen instead suggests that we see ourselves as successful member missionaries when we invite others to come to church or take the missionary discussions.  He says that if we invite we succeed, whether others accept our invitation or not.

Christensen also explodes some mistaken notions that we may have such as:

·      Supposing that religious discussions aren’t allowed at work

·      Supposing that we must be friends with someone before we invite them to church or to hear the missionaries in some way. 

·      Supposing that we can predict or judge who is most likely to accept an invitation to meet with the missionaries and thereby accurately refer the best candidates

·      Supposing that there is something wrong with us if we have experienced a rejection, which may cause us to think there is no point in trying to invite more people.

Christensen shows that religious discussions can’t be prohibited at work any more than can discussions of politics and sports, which can get pretty heated.  He asserts that in 20 years of member missionary work he has observed no correlation between depth of a relationship and probability that a person will be interested in learning about the gospel.  He also says that we should not alter our relationship with others in order to invite them, as it will keep our interactions genuine.  While it may seem like a problem to find out that we can’t predict who would be the best people to refer to the missionaries, it actually widens the field considerably.  (Christensen's discussions of these different points are detailed and very helpful, so read the book to get the full beneficial effect!)

Christensen knows that to be member missionaries, we want to know how to do it:

·      We want to know how we can talk about the church to others in a way that is natural and invites them to talk to us about religion or faith.  We want to encourage further conversation without being blatant.

·      We want to know how to phrase our invitations in a way that will be friendly and not put pressure on our friends, neighbors, and coworkers or scare them away from ever talking to us again.

·      We want to know how we can engage with people uninterested in organized religion in a way that will address their concerns and help them grow without feeling uncomfortable ourselves or getting defensive.

·      We want to know how to interest people in the church who are well off, satisfied, and don’t think they need God.  

Christensen addresses all these needs with inspiring stories and even shares conversation templates that will help us invite naturally, with love, based on the needs of those we talk to.   For me as a reader, this had the effect of building substantial confidence and faith that I can do this!  I didn’t see the conversation templates as something I had to say, but as an example of how to dial down the pressure significantly and how to make a conversation open-ended and driven by the needs of the other person.

Who is this book for?  This book is for those of us who want to be better missionaries but feel intimidated or stymied by worry about how to do it in a natural and loving way.  It is for those of us who have been demoralized or de-motivated from missionary work, and it is for those of us who feel lacking in opportunities to share the gospel or who feel isolated.  It is a perfect gift for bishops, for ward mission leaders, for auxiliary leaders..  heck, just about everyone in the church could benefit from this book!

How has this book helped me?  It, along with the worldwide missionary broadcast, galvanized me to action and that’s what led to my efforts to introduce the missionaries to my neighbors, which I described in my post “In which I confront my fears about introducing the missionaries to my neighbors”  This experience boosted my courage appreciably.  Also, since then, I have felt more confident and have been able to talk naturally about the church, mentioning it in everyday conversations with nonmembers.

See?  Game-changer, people!

If you are budget-conscious, the paperback edition will save you $15 or so.  (My link at the top of this post goes to Deseret Book's paperback edition)

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Book Review: Scripture Study Made Awesome

 

Do you ever feel like you’re in a rut with your scripture study?  Chas Hathaway can fix that.  His new book Scripture Study Made Awesome is all about spicing it up.  The subtitle promises “Over 100 Unique Scriptures Study Methods You’ve Probably Never Tried.”  Just to make sure there were 100 methods, I counted.  (I had to count, because they weren’t numbered.) It turns out that there are 133 methods, so this book delivers much more than promised.

Before Hathaway starts sharing scripture study methods, he spends a little time educating the reader about important preliminaries, such as:

·      how we can get motivated to study the scriptures if we are not yet interested

·      the difference between a study medium and a study method

·      what study media we can use--books, notebooks, computer, mobile devices, etc. (This shows us that we don’t necessarily have to use the scriptures in book form; we can use other creative ways)

·      what sources are worthy of study in addition to the scriptures

If you thought that only the scriptures were worth studying, Hathway points out other sacred sources we can go to--general conference addresses, other talks by general authorities, hymns, church manuals, patriarchal blessings, journals, church magazines, etc.—which can have a nice horizon-widening effect, kick-start us out of malaise, and even give us focus.

Hathway’s collection of study methods really runs the gamut and contains enough options for just about everybody.  He shares marking methods, semi-traditional look-for methods, marathon-speed-reading methods, self-discovery methods, question asking and answering methods, deep study methods, creative methods, and methods specifically for families with children. 

Just as an example, two easy options from the “Semi-Traditional Methods” chapter that really tickled me were the following:

·      Random relatedness—open to two random places and chose one verse from each place, then think about how they are related to each other.

·      Lovenotes—Open the scriptures believing that the first thing you see is a lovenote from Heavenly Father.

I suppose I should warn you, while this book will help you answer the question “What can I do to study the scriptures?” you may next face the question, “What method should I try first?” and that may be harder to answer, especially with so many intriguing methods to choose from.  I really think there are a lifetime’s worth of ideas here to try.. and possibly more.

Besides all the great study methods in this book, I think there are three additional features that make it even more excellent.  First, Hathaway anticipates those who might ask, “Which method is best for me?” by including some charts listing which methods are geared toward particular intellectual tendencies, mood, or family situation (with page numbers for easy findage).  Second, he includes some pretty inspiring personal stories about his experiences with building a scripture study habit, pondering apparently contradictory scriptures, and giving his scriptures to others.  Third, he incorporates a fair number of quotes from general authorities about methods they use to study the scriptures.  Seeing the methods our leaders use gives us a sense of their spiritual maturity and insight and also helps us see how we can improve our own study methods in ways that will yield more insight.  I found their methods very intriguing.

Now, at the end of all this, you may ask, “But is this book fun to read?”  Don’t worry, it is.  Chas Hathaway is an enthusiastic member of the church, and his energy comes through in his writing.  His style is brisk, eager, and positive.  He doesn’t waste text or your time. 

If you are one who loves to read the scriptures, yet sometimes find yourself getting a little bored and need something to get you motivated to study again, this book is for you.  If you are not in the habit of reading your scriptures every day, this book is still for you because you’ll find lots of ideas for how to start the habit in a way that works for you.  

After writing my review, I had some questions for Chas, and he was kind enough to answer them.

Michaela: So, Chas, what’s the story behind your decision to write this book?

Chas: This book has been nagging me for many years now. It finally got to the point where I couldn't keep it in any longer, so I finally wrote it, and I'm so glad I did! Already people are saying how much it has helped their personal scripture study.

Michaela: How did you come up with all those different scripture study methods?  Did you ask all your friends and family?  

Chas: Honestly, most of the ideas are methods I've used over the years. About ten or fifteen are from friends and family, and a few are ideas I've always wanted to try. It used to puzzle me when someone in church would say, "The way I read scriptures is..." and then they'd list some method they consistently use. Maybe I'm just neurotic or something, but I love love LOVE trying all different kinds of methods. For me, it keeps my study fresh, interesting, and always in the mode of discovery. Whenever I feel my scripture study getting a little dry, I switch methods, and it always makes for a better experience.

Michaela: How many of the scripture study methods have you tried?

Chas: I'd guess I've actually used about 90% of the methods I mention in the book. Like I said, I'm probably neurotic, but I love approaching the scriptures in new and exciting ways. There are methods I've tried in the past that didn't work so well, and I didn't include those in the book. Of the methods I haven't tried, I only included the ones I thought I'd like to someday try.

Michaela: What scripture study method are you currently using?  How has it helped you?

Chas: Right now I'm in the process of transferring all the notes, quotes, and study helps from my old electronic scriptures (basically a huge word document with hundreds of endnotes) to my online LDS.org account scriptures. It's been fun to rediscover what I learned before. It's amazing how many times I find something I don't remember ever writing. I'm also excited about having my scriptures, with all my footnotes, explanations, favorite quotes, and thoughts organized and accessible from anywhere, since I can carry my android everywhere.

Michaela:  Do you have a favorite method or style of method that you find yourself usually gravitating toward?

Chas: I don't know if I have a consistent favorite, but there are several I return to often:
a. Create your own topical guide. I call mine "Scripture Subject Index." It's a document that's getting too big. But with the church's scripture tagging system, I may end up moving it to mobile... we'll see.
b. Study while up and about. I'll often turn on audio scriptures and general conference talks while doing the dishes or working on a project.
c. Read cover to cover. It's been awhile since I've actually 'read' cover to cover, but I've listened to the standard works cover to cover several times over the years.
d. Create your own footnote system. I keep coming back and adding to my footnotes. I'm trying to catch up to Elder Packer.
e. Monologue reading. I only do this with family scripture study these days, but it works well to keep the kids (and the parents) interested.
f. Read a movie. This one's become harder with munchkins around, since it takes more concentration and undivided attention than most, but I do like it, and come back to it every few months or so.
I'm sure there are others, but those are the ones that come to mind at the moment.
I love the scriptures. I love studying the word of God. I like to tell people, if you don't find the scriptures fascinating and fun to read, it's just because you haven't yet found a method that works for you. Keep trying stuff.

And there you have it, folks, in his own words.  Thanks for all the hard work you've done on this book, Chaz!

      Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a PDF of the book mentioned above for free. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Book Review: Weakness is Not Sin, by Wendy Ulrich

Weakness is Not Sin by Wendy Ulrich is about how weakness and sin are different.  It explores how repentance (the appropriate response to sin) and humility (the appropriate response to weakness) both resemble each other and differ, but focuses on how humility will help us bring the grace of Christ to work on our weaknesses and how it can help us turn those weaknesses into strengths.   

While it is clear that sin must be repented of, Ulrich points out that trying to repent of weakness will not work; we can’t promise never to be weak again.  Instead, weakness is an invitation to be humble and turn to God for divine help (grace) and this is how Saints must continue to use the Atonement in their lives.

Ulrich shows we need to learn to discern the difference between when we have sinned and when we have merely been weak.   She lists different kinds of weaknesses and classifies them so that the reader can see how they aren’t sin but are simply part of the mortal condition, such as physical disease, emotional/mental illness, susceptibility to temptation, predispositions we are born with, emotional suffering from trauma, deficits of upbringing and culture, limitations on time and  energy, and so on.

Ulrich also makes distinction between humility and shame, showing that shame can make us “embarrassed before God, turning ‘divine discontent’ over our weaknesses into discouragement or humiliation as we imagine His shaking finger” while humility, on the other hand, informs us of our true relationship with God and our equality with our brothers and sisters.  She does this so that we don’t accidently confuse shame with humility and think shame is a virtue. 

Previous to reading this book, I lived by the notion that weaknesses were something I needed to repent of, and I would wonder why I couldn’t seem to get away from them.  (I have New Years resolutions that I have carried over several years because I felt like I hadn’t made any progress.) 

I loved that Ulrich swept my misconceptions away in the very first chapter with a carefully constructed line of reasoning that helped me to perfectly understand how humility could help me and how humility would help me access the Lord’s grace through the Atonement.   I felt like my knowledge of what Christ’s Atonement could do for me doubled in size and I felt that I learned enough to apply the principles in my life.  I also feel that I understand humility better.  Humility has been extremely hard for me to pin down and get my head around, but by identifying humility as a process, Ulrich has taught me that humility can look like different things, depending on where I am in the process.

I also appreciated Ulrich’s discussion of shame versus guilt.  She named different types of shame and described them in a way that I’m sure would allow most people to be able to self-identify if they felt ashamed of something.  I hadn’t realized that I had so much shame in my life about failure, and Ulrich recommends dissecting our shame as a way to prepare to take steps to combat it. 

Another portion of Ulrich’s book that I found particularly well done was her chapter “When I Am Weak, Then Am I Strong” in which she listed six ways that the Lord can make our weaknesses strong.  None of them were unfamiliar to me, but I had never seen them all collected and connected together before and it gave me a glorious view of the possible ways we can look forward to gaining strength when we humbly turn to God. 

I also liked that Ulrich spent a chapter describing how we can find joy in discovering and living to our strengths because they are a way for us to express our authentic self.  It reminded me that weaknesses aren’t the only part of our character that deserves attention; strengths do too.

Who will appreciate this book

This book will be an absolute godsend to anyone who has struggled to overcome their weaknesses and who have felt discouragement at lack of progress.  I know it was a real eye-opener for me and I am really excited about what I learned from it.  I think I’ve already recommended it to at least six family and friends. (If you’re still wondering whether this book is worth it, you can read a sample chapter of Weakness is Not Sin on the Deseret Book website.)

Favorite Quotes

(I wish I could insert whole chapters, because much of what Ulrich says builds upon itself, but I’ll have to be content with giving you a few paragraphs and lines.)

“We can think we are dealing with weakness when we are really in a state of sin; this is an extremely dangerous position because then we don’t repent and qualify for forgiveness but remain in our sinful state.  We can also think we are dealing with a sin we just can’t seem to repent of when we are really dealing with a weakness; this is also a dangerous position because we can easily become discouraged, give up on ourselves and God, stop trying, give in to sin, or deny ourselves the joy and peace that are rightfully ours as those who are actually clean before the Lord.” (p35)

“It seems sometimes that so much of life is about finding the fine lines between laziness and moderation, between sin and weakness, between the Spirit and our own thoughts, between confidence and pride, between humility and humiliation.  But at least it is a start to know that there is in fact a difference and that the difference is worth exploring.  Trying to discern the real boundaries and edges…is not easy.  We will not always get it right, but we can get closer and closer as we “watch” ourselves and reflect on the results of our choices.” (p41)

“Patience teaches us that this precise moment is tolerable.  As we respond to what this moment requires of us, the future will take care of itself.” (p70)

“…my heart is convicted by the following observation from Hugh Nibley, professor emeritus at Brigham Young University: ‘The [spiritual] gifts are not in evidence today, except for one gift, which you notice the people ask for—the gift of healing. They ask for that with honest intent and with sincere hearts, and we really have that gift, because we are desperate and nobody else can help us….As for these other gifts—how often do we ask for them?  How earnestly do we seek them? We could have them if we did ask, but we don’t. ‘Well, who denies them?’ Anyone who doesn’t ask for them.’” (p71)

“Many of our most important strengths grow out of the seeds of weakness in one way or another.  The puny, crushable seed and the strong, vibrant tree are not different in their essence, only in their stage of development….Our job is not to transform weakness into something completely different but to create the conditions conducive to growth from the first state to the second.  Those conditions include humility and faith.” (p101)

“Sometimes strengths and weaknesses are flip sides of the same coin: What appears as weakness in one context may be strength another context or from another perspective.” (p102)

“…each of us in one way or another can develop strengths to compensate for our weaknesses—strengths that allow us to succeed in unlikely places and against the odds.” (p103)

“The humility that can emerge from seeing our weakness fosters the very virtues that fit us to sit down with God.  In particular, humility about our weakness can teach us charity, the strength Moroni declares is essential to eternal life with God:’Except men shall have charity they cannot inherit that place which thou hast prepared in the mansions of thy Father’ (Ether 12:34)”  (p107)

“On more than one occasion when I felt I did not deserve it, [God] has stepped in anyway and made my less-than-best effort or less-than-smartest decision or less-than-noblest motivation work, compensating for my weakness with His strength.” (p109)

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Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Book Review--Righteous Warriors: Lessons from the War Chapters in the Book of Mormon

 

The war chapters of the Book of Mormon are somewhat neglected in our Sunday school discussions.  The war chapters cover a total of 20 chapters from Alma 43 to 63, yet only two weeks of 45-minute lessons per week are spent discussing the lessons of those chapters.   Thus, a lot of good material gets skipped for lack of time.

Fortunately, a favorite teacher and writer, John Bytheway, has written a book, Righteous Warriors:Lessons from the War Chapters in the Book of Mormon, which gives these chapters a closer look.  His approach is to go chapter by chapter through Alma 43-63, giving solid insights into those intriguing stories to show how relevant they are in our daily life and how the lessons from the war chapters can help us make better choices in our daily battles against evil.

It’s just fun to see how Bytheway livens up the serious topic of war, scriptures, and the gospel.  He writes specifically to teenagers, but adults will also be pulled in.  His goofy trademark sense of humor comes out in titles and subtitles, such as “Kings Are a Royal Pain” and “Sharp Objects in Tents Can Be Very Intense” and in little observations that will make you smile, such as the following:

When the armies of the Lamanites met the Nephites in the borders of Jershon, the Lamanite armies were afraid.  Why? Because the Nephites were equipped with armor—breastplates, arm-shields, helmets, and thick clothing.  The Lamanites had plenty of weapons but no armor—only a “skin which was girded about their loins” (Alma 43:20).

I doubt that any of us would want to go anywhere in a loincloth, and I imagine that going into battle would be one of the least desirable places to be caught in such attire. Can’t you just see the Lamanites preparing for battle?

“Let’s see.  I’m going to fight today. What should I wear? Ah, the loincloth? And some sunscreen. And maybe some extra safety pins.”

Just one Nephite with a handful of sharp rocks and a good arm could cause considerable physical discomfort for the Lamanite armies. Predictably, when the armies of the Lamanites saw the Nephites with their armor, the Lamanites had a sudden change of plans and departed for the land of Manti instead. (p11-12)

 I bought this book more than six years ago, even before I started this blog (gasp) (so long ago!!), and I felt like it really jumpstarted my ability to find valuable lessons in the Book of Mormon war chapters.  His lessons really stick in the mind too.  I recall that I was very much struck by his explanation of how Amalickiah was a type of Satan when Amalickiah was trying to get Lehonti to come down off his mountain in Alma 47:

            Like Amalickiah, Satan urges us to come down from our mountains, or to leave our covenants.  When we refuse Satan’s invitations, “being fixed in [our] minds with a determined resolution” (Alma 47:6), he says, “Okay, bring your guards with you, and just come down a little.”  See how subtle he is?  It’s interesting that Amalickiah invited Lehonti down three times.  Similarly, Satan tried to tempt Jesus in three different ways when the Savior was “led up of the Spirit into the wilderness,” set “on a pinnacle of the temple,” and taken to “an exceedingly high mountain”—but Jesus never came down (Matthew 4:1-11).  

            Brother S. Michael Wilcox commented on Amalickiah’s (and Satan’s) tactic of bringing his prey to lower ground while deceiving him into thinking that he was still in charge:  “’You’re in control!  I only want to talk! You have your guards!  You only have to come down a little bit!’  Amalickiah assures his victim. Lehonti, feeling secure although undoubtedly mistrustful, made his first mistake: He descended from the heights of the mountain.  In his own mind, however, he was still safe, because he was in control.”

 You’ll never read the war chapters in the same way again.

Righteous Warriors can be found on Amazon at the above link, or you can find Righteous Warriors in CD form as a talk at Deseret Book and enjoy Bytheway’s spirited delivery and charm.  

 Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

Review: Satan’s War on Free Agency, by Greg Wright

Satan's War on Free Agency, by Greg Wright is a book that you must read.  We have traditionally viewed Satan’s plan as an attempt to force others to be good, but this book examines additional ways that agency may be taken away, such as attempts to remove negative consequences.  He explains well enough that you will find your view of agency and appreciation for agency greatly enhanced, and you will find yourself understanding the challenges of current events at a much deeper level and how the adversary is still working to try to take away our agency.   This book was such a revelation to me that I think I was completely blind before I read it. 

Parents will greatly appreciate the very practical examples that Wright includes of how to raise happy and successful children using an expanded understanding of the doctrine of agency.   I feel that I grew up with wonderful parents who taught according to gospel principles, but I was exceptionally impressed with the examples that Wright shared.  I am convinced his examples and stories will give a huge amount of hope and confidence to any parent who is trying to raise a child in this difficult world. 

Let me see if I can summarize the main idea that he presented.  In order for us to have agency, we must have four things:

1.     Knowledge of right and wrong

2.     At least two options from which to choose

3.     The options must have different consequences

4.     Ability to choose for ourselves

Traditionally we have believed that Satan’s plan was to force everyone to do the right thing so they could come back to Heavenly Father.  Wright demonstrates in a startling manner that this traditional view is not scriptural!   Wright explains with great clarity that another way Satan could have tried to destroy agency is if he could convince Heavenly Father to allow everyone back into heaven no matter what they did, in effect creating a “no fail” situation opportunity.  (Amulek and Zeezrom debated about this “saved in your sins” versus “saved from your sins.”)

Wright describes how Satan continues his war on earth by tempting us to try to get rid of negative consequences for our actions.  He says if both good actions and evil actions are rewarded the same way, then it doesn’t matter what we choose.  If our choice doesn’t matter, then our agency has been destroyed, and our behavior will deteriorate every time.  The examples and thought experiments Wright uses to illustrate his points are very helpful and illuminating.

I whole-heartedly recommend Greg Wright’s book, and I advise that you get a copy to read as soon as you can to prepare you for when your kids’ summer vacation begins.

 

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have NOT received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Book Review--The Hidden Christ: Beneath the Surface of the Old Testament

Last week I read The Hidden Christ: Beneath the Surface of the Old Testament and I really have to say that if you haven’t read this book, you should go out and get it. NOW. I really don’t like to use this blog for book reviews, but in this case I felt compelled (and justified). I really think it revolutionized my view of the Old Testament. (Yes, I just used the word “really” three times in three sentences. That should show you just how much I mean it.) It showed me how so many of the prophets were types of Christ, but it also explained why the Lord went to the trouble to make those lives into types.

Some things I learned:

• How the creation is a parallel of spiritual progression
• How the discussion of Kolob and stars in the Book of Abraham is relevant to us and teaches about Christ
• How the Abrahamic covenant promises of Christ
• How the stories of Ishmael and Isaac are linked to the Fall and the Atonement.
• What the plagues of Egypt were teaching about God’s power and the meaning behind those plagues
• How the loss and return of the ark in 1 Samuel was prefiguring the gospel going from the Jews to the gentiles and back to the Jews in the latter days

There were some things that I already knew, yet the book expanded on and made these points more significant. Overall, I was very impressed and deeply edified by this book. It has fresh insights that are extremely solid. I highly recommend it. Put it on your Christmas list. Or your Thankgiving list. Or maybe your Halloween list. Heck, why not your Columbus Day list. Buy it yesterday, for goodness sake!

Disclosure of Material Connection: I have not received any compensation for writing this post. I have no material connection to the brands, products, or services that I have mentioned. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”